Trisha Paytas Says Coming Out Video is Helping Dating Life

YouTube personality Trisha Paytas says his controversial coming out video is actually leading to something good … scoring dates with hot guys!!! We got the internet personality shopping on Melrose Monday and Trisha told us the backlash he’s…

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Josh and Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating (Unabridged) – Christina Lauren

Christina Lauren - Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating (Unabridged)  artwork

Josh and Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating (Unabridged)

Christina Lauren

Genre: Romance

Price: $ 2.99

Publish Date: September 4, 2018

iTunes Store: Top Audiobooks in Romance

The Best Sugar Daddy Sugar Baby Dating Allowance Site

Unlike other sugar daddy sites out there, sugardaddyallowance is a legacy in the making for it was one of the first sites to cater to this specified narrow niche and has been doing a fabulous job of the same for more than a decade. Sugar daddy meet currently boasts of having more men than women which makes it one of the few dating sites to stand out on this count (52.4% men as opposed to 47.
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Dating In When You’re Already Forties

Life, so they state, starts at 40. You may find that thought limited consolidation as your hair grays or diminishes, your paunch neglects to recoil following half a month of dietary somberness, and you wake up longing.
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Dating in Your Forties

Being single in your 40s can be a brilliant thing. Let’s be honest, you’re more daring, more intelligent, hotter and more observing than any time in your past.
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Why Cougar Dating Is Popular Today

Cougar dating has become one of the most popular and special relationships in the society today. The society ‘has really developed and also, the people’s way of thinking has also progressed quite a lot. People have started accepting the trend where the younger man dates the older women in the society.
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Things You May Learn From Dating Rich Men

The world is quickly changing and today the society is accepting things that would have been unheard of in the past. Today dating older women or rich men isn’t out of the ordinary. This is something that people have quickly embraced as evidenced by the creation of different sites.
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Why Dating Is Good for Teenagers

Socializing has always been of great benefit to humankind. For teenagers, it is a bit confusing because of all the changes they go through during puberty. Teenagers are often carried away very easily by their romantic feelings, but there are still so many benefits that teens can get from dating.
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Shawn Mendes Says He’s Met Camila’s Parents, Not Dating for Publicity

Shawn Mendes says his relationship with Camila Cabello’s the real deal, but when it comes to whether they’re using the L word … let’s just say he’s taking a gentlemanly approach. The “Senorita” singer was at LAX Wednesday when a pap asked him…

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3 Tips From A Dating Insider On How To Make A Conversation Interesting Today

Maybe you can easily start a conversation with a woman. But what about keeping it going? Here are 3 tips from a dating insider regarding how to make a conversation interesting.
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Zooey Deschanel Is Dating Property Brother Star Jonathan Scott

Zooey Deschanel, Jonathan ScottNew couple alert–and this one may come out of left field.
One week after announcing her separation, Zooey Deschanel is moving on with Property Brothers star Jonathan Scott. She and the…


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Finding Plus Size Women on Dating Sites

There are some who love plus size women and there is no better way than interacting with them using the most reliable dating site to get that connection. The sites are a great place for men and women to meet. Plus size women are gorgeous and there are sites that are dedicated to this amazing members of the society who want to find good men to love and care for them.
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Dating Red Flags

The beginning of a relationship can be exciting and, at the same time, awkward. It’s exciting for obvious reasons: you are spending time with and getting to know someone you find interesting and attractive. It’s awkward, however, because in spite of the extent of their digital footprint, or whether they like to share their innermost feelings with friends on social media, the person you are dating is usually someone you barely know.
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Cougar Dating: New Trend in the Dating World

Today, we are all standing in the modern world where most people are trying their best to shed off the conservative mindset. Earlier men did not have the thought to approach elderly women. Neither the women agreed ever to such open-ended relationships.
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Some Valuable Rules Men Should Follow for Dating

Do you want to popular among women? I am pretty sure you want to and so does every other man. But do you know the rules that you should follow to make that happen?
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Ariana Grande Not Dating Mikey Foster, Frankie Grande Backtracks

Ariana Grande’s brother is cleaning up the tea he spilled about her dating life — that is to say, she is NOT dating Social House singer Mikey Foster. Frankie Grande sent folks into a frenzy Wednesday when he said he went on a “double date” with…

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Mature Dating Tips for Men

So, you are 50. You think you are old, but you are not. It’s all about your heart. If your heart is still young, you can’t be old. And young people date, don’t they? So, where should you begin? You may be thinking of calling that high school hot girl. Given below are some tips to help you date after 50.
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Offline Dating Vs Online Dating

The advantages of offline dating are you can meet a member in person at an event in your city. Offline dating companies typically host Mixers in different cities for its members and many Mixers don’t charge a fee to attend. There is a cash bar and members are encouraged to purchase one drink that the venue keeps. This arrangement allows the offline dating company to host free Mixers. The member don’t pay to attend, the offline dating company doesn’t pay for space to host the Mixer and the venue makes money from the cash bar.
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Pete Davidson Seen with Margaret Qualley in Venice Amid Dating Rumors

Pete Davidson’s bumpy week appears to be going a lot smoother now that he’s out of the States and in Italy with Margaret Qualley … whom he’s supposedly dating. The ‘SNL’ star was leaving a hotel in Venice Sunday night alongside Margaret — who’s…

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Dating Girls, Bars and Fun in the UAE

UAE is a swell place and one which is worth a holiday if you have money and want a high-end life. It has some of the best bars and night joints and all you b need is liquid cash and no place in the world can offer you anything better. Man’s favorite sport is women and that applies to me as well and I recommend no better place for a freakout anywhere else than Dubai or Abu Dhabi.
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Conciously In Love: Common Confirms That He & Angela Rye Are Dating Again

Common Confirms He & Anglea Rye Are Dating Again

Source: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin / Getty

Rumors have been swirling about Common and political pundit Angela Rye rekindling their relationship after splitting back in March last year. Speaking with the voice of New York, Angie Martinez, the rapper confirmed that he and Rye are back on.

Initially, people began shipping Common and Erykah Badu again after their performance of his single “The Light” at Black Girls Rock! on Sunday. Following the event, the 47-year-old Chicago native did confirm he is off the market, but it’s not with Badu but with Rye. He did, however, have some very glowing words for his former flame.

“It’s all good. She know that we’re always going to be — You know how you got people in your life that you’re always connected to? It may not be romantically, but you still got that connection. Erykah’s like family to me at this point,” he said. “All the things we experienced, the love that we got for each other, and she does have that thing [laughs]. But all that being said, it’s great. I’m happy in the relationship. You’ve got to be able to balance things and know like, okay I love this person, but this ain’t the person for my relationship life.”

Common also revealed that he and Rye decided to give another try he worked on his issues after seeking therapy. He says he’s a better boyfriend for her and that he’s with a person he can have fun with.

“I’m really happy. I think being able to go through situations where I didn’t do good in relationships, some of that was my responsibility, and after repeating that, being like ‘What am I doing wrong?’ and working on self, I’m able to come to a relationship more like whole. This is where I am with it, this is what I’m looking for. If things change, then let’s communicate. I’m real honest with myself. Therapy helped me to do that. It helped me to be like, some of the stuff I’m putting on this person is really stuff from my childhood; baggage I’m carrying. This ain’t that person. [It also helped me] to be able to say the things that I really want and communicate those things; and also to be able to take a situation where I’m stressed about something and not make it about them. They might not even be doing anything wrong, but you can take the stresses of your day and put that on the relationship.”

“We dated and then I had to get myself together and she was doing some work. She’s a strong cookie, but she’s good people and really a good balance and fun, too. I need a partner who is fun because we go out there and do the work and constantly, I’m living out the things I’m passionate about. But so many times I’m talking about the things that are going on in the world, serious things in life, so I just need somebody that’s like, we can just talk and have fun.”

When asked by Angie Martinez where does he see the couple in the future, the “Come Close” rapper is thinking long term.

“Let’s put that energy out there.”

You can watch the entire interview below.

Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin / Getty

The Latest Hip-Hop News, Music and Media | Hip-Hop Wired

5 Red Flags and Blind Spots in Dating a Narcissist

Narcissists can be beguiling and attractive. Codependents are susceptible to their charm and later abuse. Discover 5 warning signs to spot a narcissist and 5 reasons you might overlook them.
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Technology & Romance – How the Internet Has Changed Our Dating Habits

Technology affects our lives in so many ways including our relationships. This article discusses the advantages and disadvantages of using the internet and mobile phones for dating and maintaining a romantic relationship.
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Dating: Is It A Good Sign If Someone Is ‘Spiritual?’

If one has the desire to meet someone who is spiritual, it could show that they are also spiritual. At the same time, it could be said that regardless of whether one sees themselves as spiritual or not, it doesn’t change the fact that they are spiritual.
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Dating: Does It Matter What Someone’s Political Views Are?

In today’s world, someone can have the need to find out about what another person’s political views are before they are willing to take things further. Whether they are left leaning or right leaning will make a big difference.
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Dating: Will A Man Suffer If He Puts A Woman On A Pedestal?

When a man has only just met a woman, he may have the desire to find out more about what she is like. In this case, he will find her physically attractive but that is not going to be enough to seal the deal, so to speak.
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How to Avoid the Most Common Swinger Dating Mistake

The most common mistake made by single males who are who are desperately keen to get into the swinger lifestyle scene, is not closing their chat successfully. This is especially true when going on a swinger date or chatting to other guests at swinger parties. The problem is that most guys simply don’t realize they need to do it and even those that do, often don’t know how to go about it. This article provides both singles and couples with advice and techniques to help them develop the art of closing swinger dating chat.
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Dating: Can Someone End Up With The Wrong Person If They Need Attention?

It could be said that there are a number of reasons as to why one would want to be with another person. And while they might be aware of what these reasons are, there is also the chance that they won’t be aware of all of them.
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Matchmaking Is Still Around! Dating Apps Are Playing It Right

While these days finding love seems a struggle, dating applications are proving it wrong by enabling singles to connect with compatible partners with just a swipe or click. The article gives detailed insights into the working process of dating apps and how they help people find love.
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Dating the Tantric Way: 5 Tips to Create An Extraordinary Connection

Dating can be fun, scary, confusing, exciting. There is a whole gambit of emotions that arise when we are meeting new people. However, with this excitement comes a tendency to get stuck in our head which results in not being present to the person in front of us.
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What You Should Know When Dating Swedish Women

Sweden is attractive country and is also known for beautiful women. If you are thinking about dating a Swedish girl then you must keep this information in mind. It can help you a lot. First, learn that dating in Sweden is really not called dating. It is called pickup which means going out for coffee and pastries. Dating in Sweden is a well-established process. Its first phase is called cecum in which you meet the girl and go out for a walk or eating together. Going out together for a dinner symbolizes that it is becoming serious.
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Dating a Vampire – Tiziana De Piero

Tiziana De Piero - Dating a Vampire  artwork

Dating a Vampire

The Pilot

Tiziana De Piero

Genre: Horror

Publish Date: December 12, 2013

Publisher: Wannaboo

Seller: Wannaboo ssrl


Why would a sharp, optimistic and sensual girl waste her time on a vampire boyfriend? Especially when this vampire has nothing whatsoever in common with his literary kin, such as the breathtakingly gorgeous Ted from “Sparklevamps” or the drop-dead-sexy “Dreamy vampire heartbreakers”? First of all, Nina’s vampire boyfriend is called Vladimiro – a name that inspires ridicule, but not much else… and least of all romantic thoughts. He is quite pale, gaunt and the bags under his eyes are scarier than he is. Even his character has few redeeming qualities: he is ultra-conservative, pompous, conceited, and cowardly! He is completely maladjusted to the modern society and wants nothing to do with it in any case. Quite apart from all this, a romance with this vampire is destined to be a nightmare, as he has very few useful powers and a great deal of weaknesses. The sunlight, for example, could disintegrate him in only a few seconds! Even worse, his complete lack of life makes it utterly impossible for him to live up to the expectations of his emotional girlfriend. There must be something self-destructive about Nina. But then again, all human beings are known to want what they just can’t have. The girls in the “Monstrous relationships” support group are definitely among them. In their meetings Rita, Azure, Jessica – and now also Nina – vent their frustration of being in a relationship with the Frankenstein monster, a werewolf, a swamp demon and Vladimiro, the worst of them all. Every boyfriend – be it a vampire, werewolf or any supernatural being – is something of a monster, after all, and every girlfriend’s dearest wish is to be able to change them. “Dating a Vampire!” won the Comic Vampires competition and has become a popular series.

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Widow Carolina Is “Excited” to Start Dating Again After Dropping 23 Pounds on Revenge Body

Carolina, Revenge Body 305Moving on is hard to do.
On Sunday’s all-new Revenge Body With Khloe Kardashian, car crash survivor and widow Carolina sought out the transformation series after using food as a way…


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HIV Dating Site Profiles – Five Valuable Tips You Needs To Consider

It will be easier they obtain the wrong understanding of you. Here’s a month-by-month search the rearview mirror at AIDS in DC. It comes with more than 10,000 people Washington State living with HIV.
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Diddy and Steve Harvey’s Daughter Lori Fuel Dating Rumors

Diddy and Steve Harvey’s 22-year-old daughter were out and about in NYC again Wednesday night … this time in matching outfits, further fueling dating rumors. Diddy and Lori Harvey were strolling in SoHo around midnight … and while Lori was all…

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Jordyn Woods Not Dating James Harden, Hangout Was Random

Jordyn Woods and James Harden aren’t anything more than 2 people with mutual friends who happened to run into each other at a bar … at least that’s what we’re told. Sources close to Jordyn tell TMZ … the 2 didn’t make plans to party together in…

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13 Things You Need to Know Before Dating

When it comes to men and women, figuring out what makes the other sex tick can quite a challenge. Read this article in order to get a better insight on how the male and female brain works!
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Why Bother Dating in Your 50’s?

Some people might ask, why bother dating in your 50’s? You may already have a full & active life. But finding someone who respects us, cares for us, makes us laugh and wants to be with us is a very attractive proposition at any age and is a good reason to keep on dating whatever our age.
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Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello Hold Hands Amid Dating Rumors

Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello are either really, really, REALLY good friends who hold hands and embrace each other in public — or they’re freakin’ dating … maybe. The two pop stars — who recently collabed for their new single, “Señorita” –…

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Lewis Hamilton NOT Dating Smokin’ Bikini Model Zahra Elise

Turns out Lewis Hamilton hasn’t added another name to the ridiculous list of hot women he’s dated, because reports he’s hooking up with bikini model Zahra Elise are untrue … so says Zahra. Lewis has been connected to a bevy of beautiful women in…

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Kendall Jenner and Lakers’ Kyle Kuzma Not Dating Just Yachting

Kendall Jenner and Lakers star Kyle Kuzma might like yacht rock, but the yacht they were on together was NOT rocking — not from them hooking up, anyway. Sources close to the situation tell TMZ … those 4th of July pics of Kendall and Kyle…

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Dua Lipa & Anwar Hadid Bonded Over Music Before Dating

Dua Lipa and Anwar Hadid let the cat out of the bag that they’re dating by snuggling at a UK festival show — but we’ve learned before they cozied up to music, they played their own music. Sources connected to the couple tell TMZ … Anwar and Dua…

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Blac Chyna’s Been Dating 19-Year-Old Boxer Devin Haney for Months

Blac Chyna is dating another teenager — pro boxer Devin Haney — and has been banging him for a good while now … which might be a surprise to YBN Almighty Jay. Sources close to the 19-year-old athlete tell us he first hooked up with Chyna 2 to 3…

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Tristan Thompson Isn’t ‘Dating’ Mystery Girl, Met Her Through Teammate

Tristan Thompson isn’t moving on from Khloe Kardashian just yet, because he’s NOT dating the hot chick he’s been hanging with in NYC, but they are getting to know each other through a mutual friend … one of his NBA teammates. We’ve learned…

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Winter Olympic Alpine Skiers Want to Hook Up Most, Says Dating App

PyeongChang’s Olympic village is hook-up central for alpine skiers … who are hitting the dating app, Bumble, as hard as they hit the slopes. Bumble says most competitors — from all countries, not just the U.S. — have seen a 50% spike in swipes…

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5 Things to Keep in Mind When Opting for the Best Online Dating Site

Nowadays, we can do a lot of things on the Internet. For instance, you can buy grocery, plan your vacation, or get a job online. In the same way, you can look for a date online. However, it’s not as easy as it sounds. If you are looking for a dating partner online, we suggest that you keep a few things in mind. We have discussed some of them in this article. Read on to know more.
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8 Tips to Help You Make an Online Dating Site Work for You

Today, online dating websites use artificial intelligence to help you get in contact with the right person. If you are looking for an effective way of making your favorite dating sites work for you, our expert tips may help you. On these platforms, you can get advice on relationships and dating. Plus, you will get a lot of relevant quizzes.
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Things To Remember When Planning To Join Speed Dating

For many relationship experts, doing a move to finally meet your lifetime partner is a very smart thing especially these days there are already a lot of mediums to use in finding a potential life partner. And with how busy everybody is these days, what people experience most of the time are meaningless social collisions instead of quality social interactions. This is mainly the reason why it’s important to be more mindful or even deliberate when it comes to dating.
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Ben Affleck Is Dating Lindsay Shookus: Everything We Know About His First Romance Since His Divorce From Jennifer Garner

Ben Affleck, Lindsay ShookusBen Affleck is finally moving on.
The 44-year-old Oscar-winning actor is dating Saturday Night Live producer Lindsay Shookus, E! News confirmed on Thursday. This is Affleck’s first…


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5 Reasons to Go for Sugar Momma Dating

Do you know that sugar momma dating is one of the most trending dating concepts found nowadays? Well, if not, then know now that more and more men now find dating older women more fun than young girls. And, they have quite a number of solid reasons to go for it.
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Drew Carey Dating Sex Therapist

Drew Carey’s new girlfriend is a sex therapist who moonlighted as a model on “The Price Is Right” … the live touring show, though — not Drew’s TV show. Sources tell us Carey met Dr. Amie Nicole Harwick just over a month ago at a house party. They…

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Ben Affleck Dating Saturday Night Live Producer Lindsay Shookus 3 Months After Jennifer Garner Divorce

Ben Affleck, Lindsay ShookusBen Affleck has a new lady in his life, E! News has learned.
The Oscar-winning actor is dating Lindsay Shookus, a producer at Saturday Night Live.
A source tells us that the two…


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5 Dating Tips From A Cougar Dating Guide

There is something about dating older women that attract many men to cougar dating. And as a result young men like you start searching for advice and tips to make their cougar dating dreams a reality. But often they end up doing silly mistakes that prove them to be immature and unattractive in front of cougar women.
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5 Golden Rules of an Exciting Cougar Dating

Dating cougars or older women who are interested in sexual relationships with men younger than them has become quite a rage nowadays. If you are one of those, who fancies dating a cougar, remember that you are about to dwell on the grounds that are unfamiliar to you, because of the age difference. So, here are the five golden rules you need to remember when dating a cougar to make the relationship a successful one.
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‘Donny!’ Talks Dating Women His Own Age

In this exclusive clip, Donny (played by Donny Deutsch) explains to his executive producer, Pam, that he plans on using his prestigious title as “Sexiest Man in Media” and his newfound “50 and beyond” fandom to go against his usual dating routine and date women his own age.

This sounds like a great idea, until you learn that Donny’s never dated a woman close to his age, he isn’t really taking it seriously and he’s actually on “pause” with another woman.

Donny!” airs on Tuesdays at 10:30 p.m. ET on USA.

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10 Reasons I Quit Online Dating

Like basically every person alive right now, I tried online dating. I figured if I wasn’t on there, I was missing out, missing an opportunity and missing finding my person.

2015-11-09-1447077860-3327227-Barrett_4964.jpg

I tried everything from tindr, to Jswipe, to grindr, to every other word that is missing an “e” in it.

I made lots of matches, talked to lots of “interesting” men and even went on a fair number of first dates.

However, after partaking in my own dating experiment, during which I went on one date every night for a week, and two dates on Friday, I finally reached my ultimate conclusion.

Online dating just isn’t for me.

I want to preface that for everything I say, I know there are a ton of people who will disagree, and have the relationships to prove it, but as I ventured into and out of the virtual dating sphere I found out a lot about myself. Additionally, I know my experiment might sound extreme, but I needed something extreme to happen for me to really give it up once and for all.

This is what I found out:

1. I Was Bored

If you’ve ever been on any of these apps, gay or straight, you know that most of your hunting, swiping and searching is done when you are bored. If you live in a cosmopolitan like myself then chances are you aren’t necessarily bored a lot because you have work, friends, fitness and a ton of other things constantly at your disposal, but boredom somehow creeps up on you. All of a sudden you’re bored at work, bored at home, bored with your friends, bored at the gym. I think you catch my drift.

Life just isn’t as exciting as you want it to be, and the thought that maybe just around the next swipe is the person you’ve been searching for all along is exciting.

However, the problem arises when you finally do get excited, but continue to keep swiping because why not?

2. No One Was Ever Who I Thought They Were

As you make matches, swipe past people and possibly converse you start to build an idea of who the person is on the other side of the phone. You create an ideal, and all of a sudden every little nuance becomes a bigger complexity to who that person is, and how they operate.

You can’t help, but think, “Damn, where have you been all my life?”

And then bam.

Mister Amazing loses his luster. He either starts creeping real hard, says something that throws everything off, disappears or just never decides to meet up.

If by some crazy force of nature you guys do set a date and meet, chances are he is not who he claimed to be, or who you built him up to be.

His confident demeanor is replaced with one that is far less interesting, and not having the phone as an easy buffer shows you a much different person than the one you thought you had been chatting with.

This is why after 6 first dates in 5 days, I not once found myself wanting a second date.

3. I Am Pickier Online Than In Real Life

Having someone be presented essentially as a two-dimensional option, rather than a real life opportunity makes them feel much more disposable. I know personally, I looked at everything: from what you said on your profile, to how you said it, to what pictures you picked to best represent you with not just a little bit of judgment, but a lot.

There was no energy, no butterflies, no eyes from across the room to say, “Hey, wait there’s something special about this one, and we can’t put our fingers on it.”

It was all brain, and no heart in who I decided to virtually flirt with. You literally became a resume that I could toss into the trash pile without any real thought, or feeling, which isn’t how finding our potential partner should work.

4. I Became Way More Shallow

Sure, whether it’s real life or virtual reality, the first thing you notice is how someone looks, but in a real life, you quickly see how someone acts, moves, sounds, etc.

These other important attributes are what creates someone individuality, and takes them from being just anyone to uniquely them.

If I didn’t like what I saw, I was quick to swipe left. No thought other than, nope, not what I think I like. Hair, eyes, skin color, height, weight all became your stats in a world where I had never used statistics to make my choice of who I might be interested in.

Yes, all those things did and do continue to play a part of who I am interested in, but online they became all I saw, and I left little room to be more open-minded than had I been meeting these gentlemen in person.

Sometimes you just don’t know you’re best angles, and sometimes you do, which is why I always say buyer beware when it comes to what you think you’re getting online.

5. I Don’t Like Games

And that’s exactly what all these things are, games.

While none of these apps call themselves games, it doesn’t take much effort to realize that that is exactly what they are. Video games, if you will, where you become the player, and everyone else is the game.

There are rules, directions and even moments asking if you’d like to chat, or “keep playing.”

They say don’t hate the player, hate the game, and that is exactly what ended up happening for me. I hated the game and playing only made me like myself less and less.

6. I Wasn’t Honoring My Truth

Going off the idea that these things are a game with rules, I quickly found myself changing who I was to best “win” at the game.

I was holding myself back, I was playing up certain parts of myself, and playing down other characteristics, all so I could be more “desirable.”

I became who I thought I was supposed to be, not who I was. I acted more way casual, and less emotional than I really am. I put only the best pictures of myself out there, but not what I look like when I wake up in the morning.

I filtered myself in basically every way, and took what makes me uniquely special out of the equation, so I could be more “marketable.” That isn’t sexy, romantic or interesting. It’s dishonest, dull and way too technical for something that shouldn’t be so systematic.

7. I Wasn’t Happy

While I didn’t realize this till months later, I was simply unhappy with my life. I was using the idea of dating as an escape from my own life because well, it’s an easy distraction, and even easier the more venues, or apps, you have to keep the hunt alive.

I don’t think this is necessarily true for everyone facilitating these tools, but I do think it’s way more common than many people realize.

It’s another numbing device in the avoidance of ourselves. Focusing your attention on others as a way to not look in the mirror, and find what is truly wrong, hurting or uncomfortable at this moment in our own lives.

It’s really easy to think that when you find someone a lot of your issues will just subside or disappear, but the truth is until you start to work on you, you’ll never be happy, coupled up or single.

One of the hardest things to do is look in the mirror and be honest with yourself because there usually is a lot of sadness, confusion and disappointment. However, when you finally admit this to yourself, you take the first step to changing all of that.

8. It Made Me Crazy

Thinking about who I could meet, having numerous conversations with multiple people and trying to keep up with all of it was exhausting.

Call me old-fahsioned, but I think there is something beyond romantic about meeting someone, one person, and courting each other. Finding out about each other, focusing on just him and seeing where it could go.

Having Larry, Moe and Curly in the wings just kept me unnecessarily anxious, unfocused and a part of the three stooges.

Call me crazy because I for thinking I wanted to, or could juggle that many men at one time.

9. I Wanted A Relationship/Boyfriend

I know many people will disagree with me when discussing this topic, but hear me out.

As I chatted, met and repeated each of these steps with guy after guy, and there even was one named, Guy, I found myself constantly sitting across the table from someone, who wasn’t on my page.

Maybe it was the guys I was swiping right to, the app I was choosing to facilitate or any other number of reasons, but it seemed like most of these men didn’t actually want a relationship.

They wanted something, but not a relationship.

They wanted validation. They wanted attention. They wanted someone to have dinner, a conversation or sex with, but not actually a relationship.

Essentially, they wanted to win the game, by winning me over, and that was that.

Winning meant different things to different people, but it never felt like there was two winners at the end of it all, and in my opinion, there is no point in taking part in anything where you don’t have two winners.

I know that life won’t always make this the outcome, and that’s ok, but to go into anything with only your wants, needs and desires in mind, sets you and your potential partner up for a lose/lose situation.

I truly believe it’s either two winners, or two losers and the later played out far too frequently in this unwinnable game.

10. It Just Isn’t For Me

In the end we all have the right to do, act and say as we please, but as I had swam through the never ending pool of virtual daters, I found myself tired, numb and even more bored than when I had started.

I didn’t like the shallow conversations I was having to have over and over again. I didn’t like the lack of emotion that was fostered through staring at my screen for hours, and I didn’t like that I felt bad day after day about not finding what I had been searching for.

After being off all dating apps for about a year, I can honestly say I am more at peace with my life, my love life and myself. I have met some great guys in real life, “organically,” if you will, who have showed me that there are some great ones still out there, and you don’t need to be staring at your screen to find them.

Frankly, you need to be doing the opposite. Look up, look around you, look all over. There are great, funny, interesting individuals all over the place: at work, on the subway, in the grocery store, on the street. The key is to just get over yourself, and say hi.

Yes, you might get rejected, but that’s ok!

We let so many people walk right past us, sit down next to us, and stare at us, but never take a leap of faith and say hi because we don’t have a buffer. Forget about the buffer, forget about your pride, forget about everything because when you see someone in real life, and they give you butterflies, you need to honor that feeling and fly with them.

Dating isn’t a game, there shouldn’t be rules, and the longer you stay a player the longer you just get stuck playing a video game.

I’m not saying quit everything all at once, but I am saying that if the thought of doing that scares you, you’re probably addicted and actually do need one big break from all of them.

Enjoy the process, enjoy your time and most importantly enjoy yourself because until you do, no one else is going to enjoy you either.

Finding inner peace shows, and will create peace in all other aspects of your life. Whether it’s dating, relationships or work confidence is gold.

Good luck, and happy dating.

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Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton — We’re Dating!!!

Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani are dating … TMZ has confirmed. A rep for Gwen tells TMZ they wanted to reveal the new relationship Wednesday night as they celebrate the CMAs in Nashville. We’re told Gwen and Blake will be attending several…

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8 Reasons Men Need A Detox From Dating After A Breakup

After a breakup, you need a mental and physical detox to help you process your new reality. It’s not only beneficial to you, but to the next love of your life who comes along. 

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‘Don’t Seem Thirsty’ And Other Sage Dating Advice From Ja Rule

Ja Rule sits his son down on “Follow The Rules” to give him some dating advice.
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5 Signs It’s Time To Move On From The Man You’re Dating

Dating is fun and turns you into a child each time you get to meet the person you are dating. And it is true, dating should be a fun, lovely experience that you get to enjoy with a man that cares and is eager to provide for you, but that also wants a family with you.
Relationships:Dating Articles from EzineArticles.com

Dating Advice From the Devil!

Normally, when a woman is dating, she is so hell bent on getting everything right that they usually forget some of the biggest taboos that should never happen when dating. Basically, these are the things that the devil would be smiling about if you allowed them to happen knowing fully well that he has compelled you to a long lonely and sad life. As much as it is important to know all the right things, it is equally important to know what you should avert.
Relationships:Dating Articles from EzineArticles.com

Ultimate Dating Advice for Women!

Do you want to “Read” him? Read this article to discover how to sneak into his mind and control his thoughts! This is Our Ultimate Dating Advice for Women!
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10 Mistakes Men Make On Dating

Yes, here we are. You see, dating can sometimes be a crazy business. We may only make conscious effort to avoid some mistakes that puts women off. Take note, there is hardly anyone who is a master at this, we all learn through our mistakes, and sometimes its too costly to be undone. So let us share more ideas to learn from…
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The Truth Behind The Blake Shelton And Gwen Stefani Dating Rumors

Newly-single Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton are heating things up on “The Voice.” The two coaches seem to have undeniable chemistry, but a source close to Shelton says nothing is going on.

“It’s total bulls**t,” the source told People. “There’s nothing there. They’re nothing more than friends.” 

Stefani, lead singer of “No Doubt,” filed for divorce from Gavin Rossdale in August. Rossdale and Stefani were married for nearly 13 years and share three children together.

Though Stefani hasn’t commented directly on the split, she told Cosmopolitan in February, “We go through so much together — it’s a miracle that we could stay together this long.”

Shelton and estranged wife Miranda Lambert announced their divorce in July, after four years of marriage. Despite what happened, Shelton says he’s still friendly with his ex. 

“We knew if rumblings and rumors started coming out, they would just be that. By the time anybody knew anything, it was over. It was done,” said Shelton on the “Bobby Bones Show.” ”Our whole thing was, we are going to be cool about this, it is what it is. We’re buddies.”

Season 9 of “The Voice” premiered in September, so there’s still a lot of time to watch Stefani and Shelton flirt interact. But with news that original host Christina Aguilera is coming back for Season 10, this romance rumor could soon be over. 

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3 Dating Apps That Put the Power in the Woman’s Hands

When dating apps first launched, it was a brave new world. And while swiping through potential matches from the comfort of our phones was certainly exciting, less so was the waiting game that followed after…


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Karrueche Tran — I’m Not Dating Memphis Depay … We’re ‘Just Friends’ (VIDEO)

[[tmz:video id=”0_uofxacl8″]] She’s partied with him all over the world … and was recently spotted at his game … but Karrueche Tran tells TMZ Sports she’s definitely NOT dating soccer superstar Memphis Depay.  But watch the video … it’s not…

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The Hardest Part About Dating As A Divorced 20-Something

I was 28 years old when I filed for divorce and became single again for the first time since I was legally allowed to drink. But walking around the streets of Manhattan, I was just another twenty-something-year-old single girl. I didn’t “look” divorced.

I know this doesn’t really seem like a big deal — or if anything, it seems like a good thing, right? No visible scars. I was young, I didn’t have any kids and I was in the “typical” age range for dating and all that.

But this meant that anyone I dated automatically assumed that my single status was the same as everyone else’s: maybe I had some prior relationships, but I still hadn’t found the right guy.

And the way dating works if you’re seemingly just-a-regular-girl-in-the-big-city is that there is a common set of expectations around the timeline of how things go down:

  • First kiss: fair game for the first date.
  • More er, intimate stuff: sometime after the third date.
  • Meet the friends: after a couple months of consistent dating.
  • Mention that you’re in the process of getting a divorce: ummmmm… ?!!!?

Dilemma. When do you mention that you’ve been married before?

I had some friends who told me, “You don’t have to tell him about your situation, that’s none of his business”. But those people just didn’t understand what being divorced at 28 really feels like. And since you’ve lived within a marriage, you know better than anyone just how important honesty and trust are to a healthy relationship.

If you get far enough along dating someone where it feels like it’s time to broach the topic of previous relationships, you’ve probably built up some intimacy between you. Therefore, waiting too long to mention, “By the way I’m divorced,” might erode some of that trust you’ve worked hard to establish.

I mean, imagine saying that to someone who thinks they know you. Feels like a huge deal, right? My biggest fear about this situation was that nobody would want to be with me once they found out I was going through a divorce.

The good news is that this fear turned out to be totally unfounded. Here are some of the typical responses I got:

  • Disbelief: “You’re divorced?”
  • Digging deeper: “Do you have kids?”
  • Security check: “Is there still anything between you two?”
  • Gathering facts: “How long has it been?”
  • Trying to make you feel good about yourself: “His loss.”
  • Awkward commentary: “It’s not weird. It would be weird if you were still married.” (… the paperwork for my divorce took three years to finalize, I was technically still married for most of my dating life…awkward!).

The common thread through all of this was that the guy on the receiving end of the information was trying to make sense of what it meant in terms of him and me. Nobody ever seemed bothered by this news. Nor did anyone (who was nice/sane) try to use my past against me. Ever.

So fear not. I found that the “I have an ex husband” thing doesn’t have to be a big deal in your new relationship as long as you take care of a couple things:

  • Be honest before you get too serious or intimate with someone.
  • Make sure that he feels secure in your relationship with him.

And if you are divorced and out in the wild, dating again, please remember that getting divorced when you’re this young isn’t “just a break-up.” Your ex-husband was a member of your family and since you’re still so young, he also probably was a part of your world for most or all of your adult life. Dealing with that kind of loss, especially when the vast majority of your peers just can’t relate to your situation is not easy. Take it slow while you heal, and always trust your instincts.

If you divorced in your 20s and learned a lot about love, life and yourself in the process, we’d love to hear your story for our series, Divorced By 30. Send us a 500-800-word essay or an idea for a blog post to divorcedby30@huffingtonpost.com

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Greatest Dating Mistakes You Could Be Making Without Your Knowledge

There is so much about being successful at dating that it can make your head spin. Before you throw in the towel while wondering why men fly off the window just after the first date, you should consider reading this. It could literally change your world of dating. While there are some big don’ts when dating, there are others that are little known but have profound repercussions. Remember that saying of a small leak sinks a great vessel? It applies to this case perfectly. Painfully, these are usually the biggest mistakes you don’t realize you are making and perhaps why you are repelling men so perfectly.
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The Over-50 Step-by-Step Guide To Online Dating Success

Last month, I wrote a piece on the differences between what men worried about when they were dating in their teens (“Will she laugh at my peach fuzz?”) compared to their concerns when dating Over 50 (“Will she laugh at my back hair?”). You can read the other 24 here.

When it comes to overall changes in the world of dating between then and now, the very best improvement has to be online dating. Truly, it’s an historic innovation that ranks up there with the cotton gin, penicillin, and those lights in the parking garages that show you which spaces are empty.

Online dating just makes everything so simple.

Instead of spotting someone of interest; figuring a way to get to know him or her; doing your best to make a good impression; then working up the courage to ask her out (man) or hoping he will (woman), you merely fill out an online form, add some pictures, click a button, and boom: it’s game on.

How that game will go is impossible to say. Maybe you’ll find the love of your life, as the major online dating companies all seem to promise. Maybe you’ll engage in a steady stream of short-term, non-committed, sexually-driven encounters as a few of my friends did. Or maybe, like me, you’ll just have a nice time and meet some interesting people (okay, fine, I know what you’re thinking — yes, of course I’m envious of those friends…).

If you’re single and considering a full profile site like Match or OkCupid, or if you’re in a less than ideal marriage and wondering about online dating (check out this article on that situation), here’s a step-by-step look at getting the process started:

Get a separate, nondescript email address. You can do this for free through gmail, hotmail, yahoo, or others. Privacy is certainly a factor, but it’s also easier to keep your dating correspondence separate from your regular personal and business email. You’ll get lots of emails from your dating site, and hopefully a flood from people eager to meet you.

Choose your dating site screen name. Dating site screen names span the entire gamut. People use first names or initials, a personality trait (Loves2Laugh), a favorite activity (GolfNut), their hometown (LABabe), their profession (ElMatador), or a combination (NYCDocRuns). It’s wide open, and gives you a chance to highlight something(s) about yourself to catch their eye. So be prepared before you go online, recognizing you’ll likely have to add random characters (zip code, birth year, underscores) to achieve uniqueness. If you use a full-sentence-in-a-screen-name like “Imaybthe14U2luv4evr,” chances are good U will B 4gotN.

Add pictures. Okay, here’s a fact: your primary picture will make or break your online dating experience. But wait, you say. I’m on a full profile site because I abhor the shallowness of swipe apps like Tinder. I’m so much more than my picture; I’ve got hopes and dreams and wit and style, all of which I need to express fully so potential dates will know the true me, inside and out.

Yeah, that’s great. But if they don’t like your picture, they’re not reading a word you wrote.

Which isn’t to say you’ve got to look like Brad or Angelina to succeed at online dating. Of course not. But this photo needs to show you at your best. A clear shot, a nice smile, and bright eyes will help you score points (an Over 50 photo tip: looking up at the camera can help prevent that mess below our jaws…). Avoid hats, sunglasses, and being too “artsy.” And this picture must be mostly your face — if you’re turned away, or you’re too small to really make out, you’re going to get passed on.

Then add at least four or five additional pictures. They should both prove your primary shot isn’t a fluke, and illustrate other aspects of your life. You might include photos with your kids, your dog, traveling, hiking or biking, perhaps a business portrait. At least one should show your body head to toe. And make sure they’re consistently good. You don’t want someone to click through your pictures and go, “Wow … very nice … excellent … oooh, that’s too bad. Pass.”

Your pictures must be fairly recent. Not yesterday, but not (original) Clinton Administration. It makes absolutely no sense to post old photos, then show up looking like the parent of the person your date expected. At that point, there is zero chance you’ll win him or her over with your sparkling personality. And if you do have to use a great shot from the 00’s, cop to it and put the date in the picture’s caption.

Remember: a photograph transmits a tremendous amount of information. Be aware of that fact when choosing yours, and when browsing other’s.

Write your profile. For the “essay portion,” keep these basic concepts in mind:

First, be brief. Shakespeare didn’t know from online dating, but his “… brevity is the soul of wit” is spot on. Nobody is going to wade through through a fifty line block of solid text about what it will take to be your soulmate. Thanks to the internet, most people just skim, looking for nuggets of interest. Make it easy for your reader.

Secondly, stay positive, but show some humility. Nobody’s life is perfect, and portraying yours that way won’t make you look good. You’re over fifty and single — something didn’t work out at some point along the way. And that’s okay, since it’s the same for the people reading your words. By all means emphasize the good things in your life, but noting you’ve had a down or two among the ups only makes you more genuine, relatable, and approachable.

And finally, rather than presenting a dry list of your specific skills or traits, tell your potential dates what’s in it for them. For instance, instead of saying you’re a great cook, mention how much you enjoy preparing a gourmet meal for two. Rather than bragging about the extensive travel you’ve done, note how wonderful it would be to show a very special someone the timeless beauty of Florence. In other words, don’t sell the feature, sell the benefit.

Answer the questions. In the “multiple choice” section you’ll select the best answers about yourself, and what you’re looking for in a potential date.

First biggie is age, and again the suggestion is to be honest. Some people list themselves as younger for “search purposes,” then tell the truth in their profile; that’s not as bad as using ancient pictures, but again gets you off to a poor start. Similarly, be honest, or at least honest-ish, for questions about your height, body-type, exercise frequency, etc.

As for questions about what you’re seeking in a date, go as broad as possible. List yourself as open to a wide age-range, at least a few years beyond your own. For topics like religion, ethnicity, hair color, etc., select “no preference” as often as you possibly can. Showing how open you are makes you look better to people inspecting your profile, and should lead to more contacts. You’re under no obligation, so why not have as many options as possible (and really, are you so “athletic and toned” that you’ll only date someone who’s likewise)?

Go Live. Launch your completed profile on a Sunday. Then get busy looking for people to approach, enjoy the contacts that pour in for you, or both. If things go well, you may have dates set for the very next weekend, and be off and running.

Next time we’ll look at approaching people you’re interested in, evaluating and responding when you’re contacted, setting up that first date, and the date itself.

For more articles of interest to anyone who is Divorced Over 50, or whose marriage is at a point where divorce is a possibility, please visit DivorcedOver50.com.

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

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Divorce – The Huffington Post

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Saturday Night Fever Disco Accessories to Dress Up Modern Dating

disco accessories

Let’s be honest: Dating in New York these days lacks a certain dazzle. Saturday night dates—an American institution that once demanded fresh tablecloths, a new ensemble, and plenty of primping—are often relegated to banal drinks at the neighborhood watering hole or, the cruelest of jokes, the lackluster “Netflix and chill.” Where is the glitz? Where is the polish? Where is the promise of a twirl on a dance floor that a well-suited John Travolta as Tony Manero, the very king of ’70s glamour, once offered to a myriad of lucky ladies on-screen in Saturday Night Fever?

Before we mourn the end of modern courtship in this fashion capital, why not put our Gucci glittering horsebit platform foot down this weekend and demand our love lives start to shine a bit more? If bae still isn’t taking the bait, instead suggesting a quiet night in, let your Brian Atwood + Donald Robertson’s lips print–embellished heel and Prada sequined lips pochette do all the talking. And if push comes to shove and your listless paramour is still relegated to that couch, buckle yourself into Saint Laurent’s candy stacked heels, pour yourself into a disco-era frock, and let the trail of kaleidoscopic glitter from Shourouk’s Daktari embellished sequin bag catch your partner’s eyes as you exit to meet the girls. Chances are you’ll receive a text as you enter the Uber, asking if he or she can join.

The post Saturday Night Fever Disco Accessories to Dress Up Modern Dating appeared first on Vogue.

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Rita Ora And Travis Barker — DATING!!! In The Blink Of An Eye

Travis Barker and Rita Ora are dating, Travis’ rep confirms to TMZ. We’re told the couple’s so smitten with one another they’ve spent almost every day together since hitting it off at the Power 106 All Star Celebrity Basketball Game in LA. That was…

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Rita Ora and Travis Barker Are Dating!

These new couple alerts just keep rolling in!

E! News has learned that the latest Hollywood celebs to be getting up close and personal are Rita Ora and Travis Barker! The former Blink…


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Dating Advice for Singles With Herpes

Sexually transmitted infections have a very detrimental effect both mentally and physically. While the physical impact of STD’s can be dealt with using antiviral drugs and other medications, people have a hard time coping up with the stigma attached with herpes. It has been observed that people that are single face the fury as they face rejections because they’ve been tainted with the herpes simplex virus.
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Karrueche Tran — More Signs She’s Dating Soccer Star Memphis Depay

[[tmz:video id=”0_31uyid3u”]] Seems Karrueche Tran’s summer lovin’ is spillin’ over into the fall … because she’s getting very close with Manchester United star Memphis Depay … and even went to his game Wednesday night.  Tran was first spotted…

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Lessons In Love: 10 Essential Dating Questions

Someone once said “The best time to dig a well is before you get thirsty”. Sound advice that applies to the Dating, Love and Marriage World, insofar it is useful to hold some useful questions in mind as you go.
Relationships:Dating Articles from EzineArticles.com

Hinge Study: The Best Opening Lines to Use on Dating Apps

What's the number one complaint of most dating app users? The fact that you rack up all these matches, and then no one asks you out. In order to help facilitate more conversation, the Hinge…


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Rihanna — In Case There Was Any Doubt About Dating Travis Scott … (VIDEO)

[[tmz:video id=”0_573rz6s4″]] Rihanna has pretty much connected the dots … she’s dating Travis Scott. RiRi and Travis left the Gramercy Theatre Wednesday night where he had just performed. It’s the third time they’ve been together this week. Side note:…

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Rosie O’Donnell — I’m NOT Dating Tatum O’Neal

Rosie O’Donnell and Tatum O’Neal are NOT a couple … so says Rosie. A report Wednesday claimed the two had been dating for weeks, but that’s just not the case.  Rosie’s rep tells TMZ … Rosie and Tatum have been friends for several years and met…

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News in Brief: New Dating Site Suggests People You Already Know But Thought You Were Too Good For

SAN FRANCISCO—Saying love could be as close as a neighbor or colleague you’ve never once found yourself remotely interested in, new dating website OnSecondThought.com launched this week with a promise to pair users with people they already know but thought they were too good for. “On Second Thought uses a compatibility formula unlike any other site, drawing your personalized matches exclusively from those within your daily life who you’ve always considered beneath you,” said founder Layla Mufti, adding that the site’s easy-to-use interface allows members to get another look at the network of people they’ve written off in the past for not being attractive, intelligent, interesting, polite, active, hygienic, or stable enough to meet their standards. “One day you might get paired with someone from work who you’ve always regarded as mediocre-looking and kind of dumb, while the next it could be a …




The Onion

What Men Want, According to Online Dating

I’m trying this online dating thing. You see, I’m late 30s and almost officially divorced. As a single mom, I don’t have much options meeting men and when I do go out, guys in their mid-20s flock to me. It’s sweet but not really practical.

So here I am, finally splashing in the big kid pool called dating. I wasn’t sure what men wanted at my age. I mean, I had been monogamous for years and so I didn’t know what to expect. I signed up for a few sites, and low and behold, I have learned a few things about what men want, according to online dating. I thought it would be conversation, company, and maybe sex.
Turns out it’s not exactly what I had expected.

Yard Work:
“I’m looking for a woman to go fishing with and do yard work. I hope she enjoys it!”

This was a message I received from a man.

Note, if you have ever seen me with a weed whacker, you would know that enjoying yard work + Laura is virtually impossible.

Apparently men don’t want good conversation, they want someone to pick those damn weeds!

Answer Their Damn Messages:
“We could have had something good together!”

I hadn’t responded to the 50th email of his so he was angry about all of our romantic tensions dying.

Apparently, men want to be acknowledged just like women, even if they’re stalkers.

Find Good Plastic Surgeons:
The first message I received from one man was: “I love your tits. Where did you get them done?”
Apparently, men want to know the names of good plastic surgeons for their future ex-wives I’m assuming.
P.S. They’re real, Kiddo.

No Games, No Drama:
No games. No drama. I’m no drama. I’m no games. I’m not here for games.
The game and drama speak is endless. Men shout from their online profiles: NO DRAMA.

Apparently, men are becoming VERY serious about their online dating and attempting to cover up their endless need for drama with a refusal of said need.
Everyone knows that when thou protests much there is something to hide.

A Foot Rub:
“I would love someone to rub my feet.”
Apparently, this guy’s concubine was out to lunch and he just needed a fill-in.
Hey if the pay is good…why not?

More Kids: But In His Order:
“I want more children. A boy first and then a girl, and a year apart total.”
Apparently, this is a baby-making service and not an online dating tool. I wonder how he planned on guaranteeing the gender of the kids?

I’ve Been So Blessed:
I messaged one man saying hello. He got back to me stating that “I am incredibly blessed with the ability to already find two people to talk to and so I will be closing all opportunities at this time.”

Apparently, he wasn’t blessed with two women to date but blessed with a gift from God or the ability to sound like a contestant in the Miss America contest.

At this rate, I may not be meeting quality men but at least I’m “learning” so much and laughing about it!

Signed,
The Woman who has Real Breasts & Hates Yardwork

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Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Xenia Deli: I’m not dating Justin Bieber!

Even though Xenia Deli and Justin Bieber made out mightily in his music video for new single What Do You Mean, the model insists there’s no hanky-panky going on in real life.
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How to Know Your Dating Site is a Fraud

When the Ashley-Madison hack revealed that the vast majority of female profiles on the “dating” site were fake, three groups of people already knew that. A long time ago.

One of those groups includes all of the people on Earth that have more than five minutes of experience in the business world. If you are building a business that only has value if populated by lots of users on day one, you can’t get there from here. At least not legally, or ethically.

And if you do, there is some special case going on.

There are many dating websites. Can there be that many special cases? They all seemed to be populated with hot people on day one. (Otherwise they would not be in business today.) Did any of them get there organically, or even honestly? Again, anyone with five minutes of business experience already knows the answer, statistically speaking. 

The second group of people that knew the dirty truth long ago are the people who have spent more than sixty second on any of the big dating sites and also have an IQ over 80. I have sampled most of the famous-name dating sites (Why would I try just one?) and the fake profiles could not be more obvious. They are no better disguised than a mall Santa. Single people laugh about it. But I doubt most of them know the percentage of fakes. It varies by site. I have seen a few dating sites this year with 95% fakes (quite obviously), so wait for more on this story.

The third group of people who knew all along about the fake profiles includes anyone who was a founder or early employee at any of the dating sites. My guess is that many of them thought they would cheat the membership numbers in the beginning to get traction, then go legit over time. Then they got greedy. And obviously they knew what the competing sites were doing. It probably seemed normal.

Now if you will excuse me, I need to go back to reading the news that men look for sex when they are not getting enough. I am still in shock to learn of this. 

Scott


Scott Adams Blog

Not Dating: Episode 1 – “One Night Stand”

Not Dating: Episode 1 - One Night Stand

Not Dating: Episode 1 – "One Night St… 4:23
A comedy web series about Devin and Zoe, two roommates who are definitely not dating so please stop bringing it up.

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The Dating Market Might Actually Be Worse For Educated Straight Women

After journalist Jon Birger entered his 30s, he began to notice a pattern in his social circle: Most of the men he knew were married or in a relationship and most of the women he knew were single and having a hard time dating. These women had “everything going for them,” he told The Huffington Post, yet they either couldn’t get dates or were stuck dealing with men who toyed with them. 

Birger became curious about his anecdotal experience and wanted to see if there were statistics to back up what his single female friends were going through — and there were. He believes that the lopsided dating scene in large U.S. cities like New York all comes down to a gender ratio which favors men. In the U.S. as a whole, men and women are split about 50/50, but that ratio shifts when you look at the number of college graduates by gender: Women between 25 and 34 are 21 percent more likely than men to be college graduates, according to 2013 data. 

In this environment, educated heterosexual women who wish to date men who also graduated college must navigate a playing field in which guys have significantly more dating prospects, a phenomenon Birger calls the “man deficit.” Birger’s new book Date-onomics centers around this very concept, and offers a not-so-romantic aerial view of the contemporary dating landscape. 

“A lot of the women who I talked to about this felt like they must be doing something wrong or it must be their fault,” he said. “I think, for at least some of them, it was reassuring to know that it wasn’t just in their heads.”

In conversation with The Huffington Post, Birger explained exactly how the “man deficit” plays out, who has better odds in the dating pool and what women might want to do once they understand the demographics:

Your theory centers around the concept of a “man deficit.” What exactly does that mean?

Women have been graduating from college at a higher rate than men going back to the early ‘80s, and at a much higher rate than men going back to the ‘90s. These college graduation rates and gender ratios have spilled over into the post-college dating market. Of course, none of this would matter if we were all more open-minded about who we were willing to date and marry — both college-educated men and women have become less willing to date and marry non-college-educated people. 

[In this environment], men take advantage. A core part of my argument is that the college and post-college hookup culture is to a large extent a product of these gender ratios. There’s a lot of social science on this, and it all points to the ideas that men delay marriage and play the field when women are in oversupply. When it’s the opposite, the culture is more likely to emphasize courtship and romance.

In your opinion, has online dating affected this dynamic?
I’m probably going to be in the minority in this argument, but my point of view is that it doesn’t really matter. I know everybody thinks Tinder is causing the hookup culture, but the reality is that there’s actually a history of blaming new technologies for young people having more sex.

 

I know everybody thinks Tinder is causing the hookup culture, but … I think stuff like Tinder are symptoms, not the cause.

Honestly, a lot of the guys I interviewed who you’d probably think are the most schmuck-y, so to speak, were doing it the old-fashioned way. They were going up to pretty women in bars and buying them drinks. They didn’t have their heads in their phones. This is a lofty way of me saying that I think stuff like Tinder are symptoms, not the cause.

You explain how, unlike women of other races, Asian-American women are immune to the man deficit. Why do you think that is?

I was completely confused by that. Initially, I wanted to see what groups were more or less affected by the man deficit. I assumed, since Asians are more likely to be college-educated than non-Asians, I’d write about Asian women and explore how vulnerable they are to the man deficit because so many of them are college-educated. But it turns out that I was 100 percent wrong. If you look at the census data, Asian women marry at a much higher rate than non-Asian women.

I couldn’t figure out why, though. I was talking to one of my Asian friends, and she said, “It’s funny — when I was in high school, nobody wanted to date the Asian girl, but something happened in the ‘90s where suddenly everybody wanted to date the Asian girl.” For her, the cultural touchstone of this was that “Seinfeld” episode [in which Jerry is disappointed that his date isn’t Chinese]. In the book, I try to stay away from the “why” part. 

But there are studies out there showing that men in general perceive Asian women as most attractive. Then there was this terrific data from OKCupid that tracked message response rates for people of different races. The takeaway was that Asian-American women have the highest response rates. This even held true among lesbians.

You generally stayed away from giving advice in the book, but you wrote that college-educated women who want to marry college-educated men are better off marrying “Mr. Perfectly Acceptable,” rather than holding out until 40 for Mr. Right. Can you explain what you mean by that?

I want to preface this by saying that I totally get that not everybody prioritizes marriage over career. Even for people who want to get married, it may not be their highest priority in life. Really, all I’m doing is trying to help people make informed decisions. A woman who puts an extremely high priority on getting married should know that every year you’re in the dating market, the numbers get worse for you.

A woman who puts an extremely high priority in getting married should know that every year you’re in the dating market, the numbers get worse for you.

I liken it to musical chairs. In the first round of musical chairs, really only the kid who isn’t paying attention doesn’t get a chair. But by the last round, you have a 50 percent chance of losing. In every successive round of the game, the odds of being left out increase.

This is also what happens in dating. If you start out in a dating pool of 140 women and 100 men, which is probably not unlike what young women in New York are staring at, that starts out as a 1.4 to one ratio. Once half of the women in this dating pool get married — so 70 women marry 70 men — the ratio among the remaining singles becomes greater than two to one. If you’re on the wrong end of the gender ratio — like college-educated women in general — every year you hold out, the dating market is going to be statistically more challenging.”

Numbers aside, do you think people are able to think in these terms? How does one know who is “Mr. Perfectly Acceptable”?
I’m an old married guy — I’m 46 and have been married for 20 plus years. If you talk to people who have been married for a long time, they’ll tell you there’s an element of compromise in all marriages, in all successful marriages. Sometimes the compromise is part of the fun. It would be boring if you were 100 percent perfectly compatible I think, and maybe others would disagree. There’s always a level of compromise in a marriage, no matter what the situation. 

You argue that ultimatums can help women in this type of environment. How so? 
In every other part of life — in business and politics — everybody understands the power of the ultimatum. But for some reason, people resist it when it comes to romance. The reality is that an ultimatum creates artificial scarcity in an otherwise abundant marketplace. It makes you want more of what you perceive you may lose.

One of these truisms that you hear in business is that you should never make a decision until you absolutely have to. If you’re a single 35-year-old man in Miami, Chicago or New York, every year the dating market becomes a little bit better for you. Why make a decision about one woman now when you can keep her as an option and continue exploring the market? I feel that the ultimatum is a way to push back against the male desire not to make a decision any sooner than he had to.

I feel that the ultimatum is a way to push back against the male desire not to make a decision any sooner than he had to.

You want it to happen naturally and organically, obviously. I get that and I get that what I’m saying is highly non-romantic, but I’m making an argument about what I think works, rather than what makes for the best love story.

How do you recommend that women approach their dating lives in such a lopsided market?
I’m going to preface this with: I’m not a dating coach — I’m a middle-aged guy and I’m not telling people how to live their lives. I’m just a believer in informed choices.

All things being equal, if you’re just starting out your career and you have one job offer in Manhattan and another job offer in Silicon Valley or San Jose, and you’re on the fence between the two jobs and you’re a monogamy- or marriage-minded heterosexual, my suggestion would be to put these gender ratios on your list of things to consider. Cities like Seattle or Silicon Valley or San Francisco or Denver have less lopsided or even male-skewed gender ratios among college grads, so the dating environment is going to be more woman-friendly.

At the same time, I totally get that a 45-year-old woman is not going to pick up her entire life and leave everything behind to go move to Denver. I realize that that’s not a realistic suggestion for some people.

So what would you tell women who aren’t willing to pick up and move?
If they’re online dating in a big city, one thing they could consider is to include the suburbs in their searches. I know it sounds counterintuitive, because it’s easy to think that all of the guys in the suburbs are going to be married. But in fact, generally speaking, the gender ratios among single college grads are less lopsided in the suburbs than they are in big cities.

Also on HuffPost:

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5 Dating Tips You Must Follow If You Are Single

5 critical things that all women should do and not do when they are dating to ensure they get what they desire and don’t annihilate their chances with the men that they are interested in. I’m about to share what many women go through their entire lives not knowing, the things that our mothers don’t tell us about men in the standard sex talk, which to be fair has never really been enough information to prepare us women with when it comes to understanding men and having successful relationships with them. Men get away with too much and now you will learn how to turn the game around and make every step you make when dating work in your favor. Men and dating don’t have to be such an enigma or so frustrating. Women need to learn more about men so that they will have an easier ride when interacting with them and reading their signs.I know exactly how to read every male scenario and turn every situation around in a woman’s favor because I have taken the time to get to know and understand men, what they want and what they look for in women, their polar opposites.
Relationships:Dating Articles from EzineArticles.com

Beyond the Usual Suspects: 3 New Dating Apps With Totally New Offerings

We would never insult you as to suggest that you don't already know all the usual suspects in the dating app world (Hinge, Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, JSwipe, and so on). Instead, we're going to…


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All About Search: Advanced SEO for Dating and Cam Sites

There are many similarities between adult dating and cam websites. Unlike tubes, paysites, VODs and blogs, both dating and cam sites have unique challenges. They have minimal keyword rich content, their markets are saturated with white labels and some of the biggest brands have lost SEO traction in recent years.
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Nick Jonas Denies Dating Kendall Jenner

Nick Jonas and Kendall Jenner’s relationship has officially been downgraded from taking it “very slowly” to a figment of our imaginations. 

Earlier this month, sources told Us Weekly that the 19-year-old model began dating the 22-year-old singer after she was introduced to him by mutual pal Gigi Hadid, who is dating Jonas’ brother Joe. And just this week, sources told E! News that the pair were keeping things “pretty light as of now.”

Awww, cute, but that’s a not how Jonas sees it. In a story published Friday, he told E! News, “We’re not dating,” 

He added, “Kendall is great and naturally with her being good friends with Gigi and with Joe and Gigi dating, there are times we’ll be in the same place and we all hang out.” 

As for Jenner, she’s been way too busy soaking up the sun in St Barts to clear up dating rumors: 

Also on HuffPost: 

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Style – The Huffington Post
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Why My New Dating Mantra Is “Be the Sweatpants Version of Yourself”

Did you ever wake up feeling too blah to do almost anything? Like you were hungover, even though you didn’t drink the night before? That was me this morning. I hit snooze three times, and…


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Bella Thorne And Gregg Sulkin — She’s Underage, He’s Not, They’re Dating and it’s Cool

Bella Thorne is 17 and Gregg Sulkin is 23 … and they’re dating, and it feels very Tyga/Kylie. The duo hit the Teen Choice Awards doing very couple-y things — holding hands, kissing on the cheek and calling each other “baby” and “sweetheart.”…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Hook Ups


Matt Barnes Caught Lying About Dating Rihanna, Slander Is Real

Matt Barnes said he was dating Rihanna. However, the Bajan pop singer says she has never met him.

See how that could be a problem?

Rih Rih took to Instagram to put Barnes on blast with hashtags like #shesnotintoyouatall.

Bruh…

Peep how it all started below, Rih Rih’s ether via the ‘Gram on the flip and more slander on the following pages.

Life comes at you fast.


Photo: Instagram

The post Matt Barnes Caught Lying About Dating Rihanna, Slander Is Real appeared first on Hip-Hop Wired.

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The Most Important Thing About Dating as a Single Parent

When it comes to dating as a single parent, there is one single most important thing to consider, above everything else:

Would you allow your potential partner to date your child?
Or in other words, is your potential partner good enough for your kids?

Time and time again, I see women and men dating people who don’t exactly cut it.

The man whose girlfriend treats him like a bank account and handyman.

The woman whose boyfriend treats her like a “sidepiece” and inconvenience.

The scenarios are the same for those in LGBT relationships– situations in which one person is settling for less than what they deserve.

Time and time again, I see divorced parents in relationships that aren’t the dream relationship they left their ex’s for.

I see people settling. I see people dating fill-in’s and warm bodies to keep the loneliness at bay.

But if I were to ask any of these people, “Would you let this person date your child? Is this the type of partner you would want your kid to have as an adult?”

The answer is usually hell– no!

But why do we want more for our kids but less than for ourselves?

Why is it okay for you to date beneath you but not your child?

How do you expect your child to honor him or herself in adult relationships, if you cannot do the same thing?

How can you expect your child to raise the bar high if your bar is already so low?

They came from you. If you aren’t good enough well then, your children may draw the conclusion that perhaps maybe they aren’t either.

This is why I am single. I cannot afford to set the bar low on my child’s watch. If I set the bar low, so will she.

Until I find someone who honors me the way I should be, I will go solo.

So when you go out there to date as a single parent remember this: your children are watching.

Set the bar high.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




Divorce – The Huffington Post

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Tough Love and Tinder: Dating Coach Steve Ward Weighs in on What’s Really Holding Dating Back

It’s been two years since you’ve seen him on VH1, doling out Tough Love relationship advice, but despite taking a step back from the small screen spotlight, matchmaker Steve Ward has been busier than ever…


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Olivia Lane Talks Touring With Easton Corbin, New Single ‘You Part Two’ & Dating a ‘Basic Boy’

Things are definitely looking bright in the world of Olivia Lane these days.
“You Part Two,” her current Big Spark single, is gaining traction at…
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How to Spot a Dating Con Man

Dating and meeting new people can be a lot of fun, but you must always keep your wits about you and look out for signs that may indicate that things are not quite right and you might be dating a con man. While the majority of men you meet will be genuine and honest, there are unfortunately some who are not and will try and scam you out of money.
Relationships:Dating Articles from EzineArticles.com

My Husband Left Me For A Younger Woman — And Now I’m Online Dating

In the second instalment of her dating exploits after her husband walked out for a younger model, our new 50-something columnist Louisa Whitehead-Payne* hears from a horny farmer on Muddy Matches, lies about her age and finds that a ‘tactile soulmate’ is code for ‘sex with someone I like’.

As you read last week, I have eliminated escorts and adult dating from my enquiry into online dating. Despite not having had sex for six years, I’m going after something a bit more vanilla. But how to decide among the bewildering array of websites?

EHarmony, Match.com, Zoosk? I try one and to my horror it’s like a computer game or a supermarket loyalty scheme. You have to wink at people and earn coins! For what, for goodness sake? I find this gamification undignified and trivializing. Not for me … not the sort of fun and games I am after at all.

Muddy Matches: Hello Farmer

The Telegraph website recommends the usual suspects, plus there is Encounters from The Times and an odd one called Muddy Matches. Maybe there are dirty people on it? It turns out it is for people who like the country or who live in the country. Well, I have just moved to the country so I qualify…

The people on the site seem straightforward. Amid the odd horny-handed sons of the soil and pics of men and their tractors, there are some who look eminently suitable. And some with red trousers so there might even be some posh boys to boot! I pays my money and look to take my choice.

Goody, you can add people to your favorites so I save everyone who I think I might look at later. All of a sudden I get a message from handsome Nobby in Norfolk, who notes that I have added him to my favorites. What! How does he know? It doesn’t say he’s a clairvoyant on his profile. Why don’t they tell you that saving a person’s profile sends an alert to them? I had no idea! I have clearly said hello to dozens of men who no doubt will be on to me in a heartbeat.

Men’s Profile Photos

Dishy Nobby, who appears to own an Aga cooker (a good sign, I think), asks me why I haven’t uploaded a picture and I say that the site has yet to approve it. (Sites check pictures to keep it clean.)

The men’s pictures are generally poor quality. Lots of furtive selfies. I try to gauge if they are handsome. Tall, it tells you. Dark, some of the photos are so bad that, frankly, it’s hard to tell. Some even have cropped someone out as you can see a female hand just showing round the shoulder.

I discover that the norm is to have a portrait as your profile and a full length in the additional photos so that people can assess what sort of bod you have. There are lots of pics of men on holiday in their swimmers. Generally porkers don’t put a bod shot in.

A ‘Tactile Soulmate’: Code For Sex

I quickly work out that most men in their 50s are looking for much younger women. Good job I had lied about my age, then! It seems that to attract a man in his mid-50s I need to be 35 to 50. So my dating age of 48 looks like a good call. I am only lying to an algorithm, I tell myself.

When I meet them and they can see how lovely I look, I’ll come clean. The rank injustice of it makes me want to run round screaming.

People also speak in code. Men want tactile soulmates, it seems. I find this off-putting; are they proposing to stare meaningfully into my eyes and then feel me up in public? I later realize that this means they like sex, and the soulmate part means that they’d prefer to quite like the woman too.

The Times Dating Site: Encounters

A friend of mine recommends Encounters, a site for Times readers, so I subscribe on the basis that the men will be likely to be older and intelligent if not necessarily tall. There are loads more men than the Muddy ones. Lots more men from London. Lots more odd people, including a Mr Grey who wants to spank us.

I am not very keen on dating men from London. Probably unfair, but I feel that there is too much competition. Too many young women from Eastern Europe with great bodies, small bank balances, trick pelvises (probably) and 30 years on me. I won’t stand a chance.

Messages from all my favorites on Muddy Matches roll in. Not. There is one from a toothless man in his seventies in my inbox and I am still waiting for handsome, Aga-owning Nobby to get back to me.

You need to learn a new language. Find out how the sites work before you start. The odds are stacked against you if you are female and older. But, life isn’t fair, and you just have to get over it.

Next Time: When Is A Date Not A ‘Date’?

*Not her real name

Related Articles From High50:

My Husband Left Me For A Younger Woman So I Went Online To Find Sex

Online Dating: No More Men Over 50 For Me

Nine Ways To Protect Yourself When Internet Dating

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




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Lowe & Stamos: ‘Dating For Years’?

Is one of Hollywood’s newest "couples" also one of its most handsome? John Stamos and Rob Lowe may have more in common than just good looks.


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He’s Separated, Now What? 5 Reasons You Should Avoid Dating A Man Who’s Not Divorced

However, what if the man you just met seems to be your perfect soul mate but… there is a problem. He is separated and not yet divorced? Now what? Should you pursue the relationship and take the risk for the sake of what could be love, or should you walk away? The choice is, of course, entirely yours, but chances are that the relationship will be greatly challenging and unlikely to work for a number of reasons:
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Dating in Retirement

Our need to emotionally bond does not change with aging as some have suggested. We will evaluate for different character traits when dating in retirement. But, the course of romance remains the same. Here are some suggestions to get you started.
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7 Mistakes You’re Probably Making On Your Online Dating Profile

 

Having no luck getting a decent guy or woman to message you on online dating sites? We hate to say it, but it may be because the profile you’ve created is unremarkable. (Hey, you’ve been in a relationship for years — possibly even decades; there was no need to master the art of the perfect Match.com profile.) 

To help you land a date, we asked a handful of dating experts and coaches to weigh in with the most common mistakes they see divorcées making in their profiles. 

Read what they had to say – and their advice on how to write a better profile — below: 

1. Your profile picture is less than flattering. 

Online daters wade through hundreds and hundreds profiles to find one person worth meeting for coffee. Of course they’re making snap judgments about you based solely on your profile photo. That grainy, low-res photo you uploaded from Facebook isn’t doing you any favors – and don’t even think about posting a pic from five years ago. 

“Every photo sends a message,” said dating and relationship expert Damona Hoffman. “Don’t think you need to post a photo from back in the day that’s overly sexy to get a date. With clever cropping and your best angle, you can direct people’s eyes to exactly what you want them to notice about you.” 

To get casual, totally flattering profile photos, Jeffrey Platts — a dating expert and men’s coach based in L.A. — recommends having a friend snap photos of you any time you’re feeling “sexy, confident and well-dressed” while hanging out. 

“It just takes 30 seconds and you’ll be adding to your collection of great photos to choose from,” he said. 

2.  You’re boring people to tears in your “about me” section. 

Your front-facing, model status profile pic may be what draws people in, but a compelling “about me” section that shows off your personality is what will land you a date. Describing yourself as a “laid-back guy who loves the beach and getting drinks” is the meh-est of meh descriptions. 

“That pretty much describes 99 percent of singles,” said Platts. “If I tell you I’m going to buy you any smartphone you want, you wouldn’t just say ‘Thanks, just get me one that makes calls and can surf the web.’ No, you’d tell me get the a 64GB iPhone 6 Plus in white. You want someone to want you because of you, not simply because you’re a warm-bodied male or female.” 

To spice up your profile, Platt suggests injecting some humor and personality into it: “Then people who share similar values, interests and lifestyles will gravitate toward you.” 

3. Mentioning your ex — or any other failed relationships. 

This should go without saying: Don’t bring up your ex or other low-points in your romantic history. Divorce may have taught you what you categorically don’t want in a new partner, but don’t waste valuable space in your profile listing out negative traits you don’t want in your life.  Surprisingly, it’s something Laurie Davis, founder of online dating concierge service eFlirt, said she sees all the time while doctoring the dating profiles of divorcées. 

“It sets a negative tone for your profile — not the most attractive quality to lead with!” she said, “It’s best to keep your last relationship, and all the baggage that came with it, out of your first impression.” 

4. Your word count is out of control.  

Adopt the Goldilocks principle when considering the length of your profile: Not too short, not too long, but just right. You want to tell a story about yourself that’s intriguing but leave the whole story for the dates to come. 

“Say just enough in your profile to get them to want to meet in person and reveal the rest there,” said Hoffman. 

5. Your username is forgettable. 

Sorry, SexyLady432 and Soccerfan1973, but you may want to rethink that username. What you call yourself won’t likely be a deal-breaker for most but it’s worth taking the time to come up with something original and more grown-up than the examples above, said Platt. 

“Look, I know that as more and more people sign up for online dating sites, the good usernames get swapped up but there’s still room for creativity and personality,” he said. “Test out several variations until you come up with one that you like and is available. You can always try lumberjackyogi and crossfitqueen.” 

6.  You post pics of your kids or talk endlessly about being a parent.

Your kids may be adorable, Honor Roll-making angels but that doesn’t mean they should be the stars of your dating profile. While it’s natural to include details about your kids or life as a parent in your profile, you don’t want to overdo it — and you definitely don’t want to include pics of the kids, Davis said. 

“Even if the photos with the kids are simply the most flattering, I’ve’ found that what works best is to keep the focus on you, and you alone, in your photos,” she said. “Crop out the others around you, in particular children.” 

7.  You send an awkward first message. 

You now have the tools to write a profile that hits all the right marks, but remember: all the hard work you put into your profile can be upended if you send inappropriate messages to people you’re interested in. A mere “hi” or “hey baby” aren’t likely to go over well.

To ensure you’re sending an initial message that won’t offend or bore people, Platt recommends putting it through a “would I ever say this in real life?” litmus test. 

“Imagine going up to someone at a bar, saying ‘hi’ and just standing there silently. You wouldn’t, so why do the same thing virtually? And women (and men) get literally hundreds of these messages. I’ve yet to meet a woman who has written back to an initial one-word message.” 

To knock it out of the park with your first message, Platt said to “Write something that shows you actually read their profile. And the easiest way to do that is directly mention something that he or she wrote about and ask them a genuinely curious question about it.”

In a sea of “hi” and “hey babys,” Platt said you’re sure to stand out.

More from HuffPost: 

Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Divorce on Facebook. 

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

7 Mistakes You’re Probably Making On Your Online Dating Profile

 

Having no luck getting a decent guy or woman to message you on online dating sites? We hate to say it, but it may be because the profile you’ve created is unremarkable. (Hey, you’ve been in a relationship for years — possibly even decades; there was no need to master the art of the perfect Match.com profile.) 

To help you land a date, we asked a handful of dating experts and coaches to weigh in with the most common mistakes they see divorcées making in their profiles. 

Read what they had to say – and their advice on how to write a better profile — below: 

1. Your profile picture is less than flattering. 

Online daters wade through hundreds and hundreds profiles to find one person worth meeting for coffee. Of course they’re making snap judgments about you based solely on your profile photo. That grainy, low-res photo you uploaded from Facebook isn’t doing you any favors – and don’t even think about posting a pic from five years ago. 

“Every photo sends a message,” said dating and relationship expert Damona Hoffman. “Don’t think you need to post a photo from back in the day that’s overly sexy to get a date. With clever cropping and your best angle, you can direct people’s eyes to exactly what you want them to notice about you.” 

To get casual, totally flattering profile photos, Jeffrey Platts — a dating expert and men’s coach based in L.A. — recommends having a friend snap photos of you any time you’re feeling “sexy, confident and well-dressed” while hanging out. 

“It just takes 30 seconds and you’ll be adding to your collection of great photos to choose from,” he said. 

2.  You’re boring people to tears in your “about me” section. 

Your front-facing, model status profile pic may be what draws people in, but a compelling “about me” section that shows off your personality is what will land you a date. Describing yourself as a “laid-back guy who loves the beach and getting drinks” is the meh-est of meh descriptions. 

“That pretty much describes 99 percent of singles,” said Platts. “If I tell you I’m going to buy you any smartphone you want, you wouldn’t just say ‘Thanks, just get me one that makes calls and can surf the web.’ No, you’d tell me get the a 64GB iPhone 6 Plus in white. You want someone to want you because of you, not simply because you’re a warm-bodied male or female.” 

To spice up your profile, Platt suggests injecting some humor and personality into it: “Then people who share similar values, interests and lifestyles will gravitate toward you.” 

3. Mentioning your ex — or any other failed relationships. 

This should go without saying: Don’t bring up your ex or other low-points in your romantic history. Divorce may have taught you what you categorically don’t want in a new partner, but don’t waste valuable space in your profile listing out negative traits you don’t want in your life.  Surprisingly, it’s something Laurie Davis, founder of online dating concierge service eFlirt, said she sees all the time while doctoring the dating profiles of divorcées. 

“It sets a negative tone for your profile — not the most attractive quality to lead with!” she said, “It’s best to keep your last relationship, and all the baggage that came with it, out of your first impression.” 

4. Your word count is out of control.  

Adopt the Goldilocks principle when considering the length of your profile: Not too short, not too long, but just right. You want to tell a story about yourself that’s intriguing but leave the whole story for the dates to come. 

“Say just enough in your profile to get them to want to meet in person and reveal the rest there,” said Hoffman. 

5. Your username is forgettable. 

Sorry, SexyLady432 and Soccerfan1973, but you may want to rethink that username. What you call yourself won’t likely be a deal-breaker for most but it’s worth taking the time to come up with something original and more grown-up than the examples above, said Platt. 

“Look, I know that as more and more people sign up for online dating sites, the good usernames get swapped up but there’s still room for creativity and personality,” he said. “Test out several variations until you come up with one that you like and is available. You can always try lumberjackyogi and crossfitqueen.” 

6.  You post pics of your kids or talk endlessly about being a parent.

Your kids may be adorable, Honor Roll-making angels but that doesn’t mean they should be the stars of your dating profile. While it’s natural to include details about your kids or life as a parent in your profile, you don’t want to overdo it — and you definitely don’t want to include pics of the kids, Davis said. 

“Even if the photos with the kids are simply the most flattering, I’ve’ found that what works best is to keep the focus on you, and you alone, in your photos,” she said. “Crop out the others around you, in particular children.” 

7.  You send an awkward first message. 

You now have the tools to write a profile that hits all the right marks, but remember: all the hard work you put into your profile can be upended if you send inappropriate messages to people you’re interested in. A mere “hi” or “hey baby” aren’t likely to go over well.

To ensure you’re sending an initial message that won’t offend or bore people, Platt recommends putting it through a “would I ever say this in real life?” litmus test. 

“Imagine going up to someone at a bar, saying ‘hi’ and just standing there silently. You wouldn’t, so why do the same thing virtually? And women (and men) get literally hundreds of these messages. I’ve yet to meet a woman who has written back to an initial one-word message.” 

To knock it out of the park with your first message, Platt said to “Write something that shows you actually read their profile. And the easiest way to do that is directly mention something that he or she wrote about and ask them a genuinely curious question about it.”

In a sea of “hi” and “hey babys,” Platt said you’re sure to stand out.

More from HuffPost: 

Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Divorce on Facebook. 

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




Gay Voices – The Huffington Post

Chemistry.com gay - First Date 300x250

About Those Ben Affleck Dating His Nanny Rumors…

Just a month after Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner announced they were divorcing, the rumors started to fly. It began with a report in Us Weekly that Ben Affleck has been dating 28-year-old Christine Ouzounian,…


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Ben Affleck — Threatening Lawsuit Over Nanny Dating Allegations

Ben Affleck is angry over allegations he’s dating his children’s nanny, so angry he’s threatening a lawsuit.  A rep for Affleck calls the US Weekly story — which claims Affleck and the nanny, Christine Ouzounian, began dating AFTER Ben and Jennifer…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Gossip Rumors


The One Thing You’re Not Doing on Dating Apps but Should Be

I’m not trying to brag or anything, but thanks to my inability to find men who can commit to me for longer than a few months, I have become quite the seasoned online dater. I’ve…


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What Happens When Your Bestie Writes Your Online Dating Profile

No one knows you better than your best friend. (Seriously, if you ever became famous and the two of you had a falling out, he or she could write a killer tell-all book about you.) 

 

So given all your friend knows, would you let him or her craft your online dating profile? In the BuzzFeed video above, intrepid singles give their besties complete control over their “about me” sections. 

 

“Bump everything up,” one woman advises her friend. “Don’t put tall, put supermodel tall.”

 

“Supermodel tall, supermodel funny,” her friend types.  

 

In the end, most of the singles have high hopes for their new, BFF-approved profiles.

 

“She’s putting so much more thought into this than I do in my regular profiles,” one guy says. “I think I’ll get better matches because she was more honest about who I am than I usually am.” 

 

Watch the clip above to see how it all goes down.

 

More from HuffPost: 

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.



Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

What Happens When Your Bestie Writes Your Online Dating Profile

No one knows you better than your best friend. (Seriously, if you ever became famous and the two of you had a falling out, he or she could write a killer tell-all book about you.) 

 

So given all your friend knows, would you let him or her craft your online dating profile? In the BuzzFeed video above, intrepid singles give their besties complete control over their “about me” sections. 

 

“Bump everything up,” one woman advises her friend. “Don’t put tall, put supermodel tall.”

 

“Supermodel tall, supermodel funny,” her friend types.  

 

In the end, most of the singles have high hopes for their new, BFF-approved profiles.

 

“She’s putting so much more thought into this than I do in my regular profiles,” one guy says. “I think I’ll get better matches because she was more honest about who I am than I usually am.” 

 

Watch the clip above to see how it all goes down.

 

More from HuffPost: 

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.



Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Double Dating Tips: What A Couple Should Do When Out With Another Couple

A double date is fun way to hang out and get to know another couple more. Here are dating tips that serve as a friendly reminder for you whenever you and your beau are out with another couple. There are many friends who became distant and practically strangers the moment one they starting seeing people from the opposite sex. However, a good friendship should not be compromised just because you want to spend time with the person you love. Double dates allow couples to spend quality time together without having to sacrifice their time with friends. Having your couple friends with you can make the fun atmosphere even more enjoyable. On the other hand, there are a few things that should be considered when going out on a date with another couple. Here are some dating tips that might come in handy if ever you decided to go out on a double date.
Relationships:Dating Articles from EzineArticles.com

Bad Dating Behaviors (Ripped Straight From Your Favorite Movies) That Guys Really Hate

It’s been more than a decade since the lovable Kate Hudson almost scared off a man in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, and since Carrie Bradshaw immortalized a variety of not-so-great relationship…


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Dating After 40 for Men – Tips for Better Dating

Many men over the age of 40 are still single or newly single and most of them do not want to be one. Dating after 40 for men has its difficulties. Most middle-aged single men have family obligations, careers and emotional baggage that makes dating again difficult for them.
Relationships:Dating Articles from EzineArticles.com

9 Things You Need To Know About Dating Someone Going Through A Divorce, Because You’ll Likely Have To Interact With Their Ex At Some Point | Bustle

The older we get, the more inevitable it’s going to be we date people who already have a marriage behind their belt. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, in fact, it proves they were — and therefore likely still are — able to really commit to someone.  Still, there are some things to be wary of, and just like everything else in life, timing is everything; it can play a larger factor when dating someone going through a divorce; even a couple of months can make all the difference in the world. 

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.



Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

UFC’s Paige VanZant — Basically Confirms She’s Dating UFC Star

Paige VanZant doesn’t seem to be afraid of anything … except when it comes to confirming that she’s OFFICIALLY dating a fellow UFC fighter  – though it’s pretty obvious it’s on and crackin’.  VanZant was out in…

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Which of These 5 Dating Personality Types Are You?

Have you ever noticed that people follow distinct patterns when it comes to their dating habits? Have you identified your own pattern? When it comes to dating, most of us can be pretty predictable and fall into one of five basic dating personality types.

There is no positive or negative here. Your dating personality can change, and oftentimes it will over the course of our lives. Humans are complicated, of course, and it’s possible to recognize characteristics of more than one type in yourself, but one will probably stand out for you more than the rest.

If you’re single and hoping to get into a relationship, knowing your own type and the type of those you’re meeting and dating can save you a lot of confusion and heartache!

So, which one are you?

1. The Avoider

As the name suggests, Avoiders avoid! Common characteristics are:

  • Not being proactive about meeting more and new potential partners.
  • Getting easily frustrated and giving up when beginning to date or thinking about dating.
  • “Half-assing” online dating efforts and flakiness when it comes to nailing down concrete plans.
  • Generally uncomfortable flirting or putting himself/herself “out there”.

Avoiders want to have an organically unfolding connection with partners; they hope that a suitable partner will appear without any special effort on their part. When they do date, they usually date those they know through friends, work or school. Avoiders believe (or desperately hope) love will “just happen.” They can easily find reasons to disqualify potential partners, and feel intimidated by intimacy, especially when they are being pursued.

Tips for the Avoider:

Avoiders need to stop avoiding and start dating. New thinking takes practice – you’re not likely to magically wake up one day and find yourself going on lots of dates without a concerted effort to do things differently than you have before now.

Get the support you need- a friend who can hold you accountable can be a great way to keep you on track when you feel like throwing in the towel. Online dating, singles events or working with a professional dating coach or matchmaker are all ways to jumpstart your love life. If you practice your dating skills you will greatly improve your confidence and de-mystify the process of dating. If your new actions feel uncomfortable, take that as a good sign!

2. The Dreamer

Dreamers have a very active imagination when it comes to their love lives – even when they’re not dating at all. Common characteristics are:

  • Prone to elaborate fantasies about a crush or being reunited with an ex.
  • Becoming fixated on one person, even if that person hasn’t demonstrated a concrete interest in dating you.
  • Tendency to compare potential partners to the “ideal” partner you imagine – an ex, crush or vision of the “perfect” man or woman.
  • Unwillingness to date anyone unless you feel instant chemistry and passion.

Dreamers believe in love at first sight and feel that anything less is a waste of time. They don’t easily move on if their attraction to another is not reciprocated or the other person isn’t seeking a relationship. Dreamers can easily be taken advantage of by someone who enjoys their attention but isn’t interested in being a partner. They can be highly critical of those they’re not already emotionally invested in and see their crush as nearly perfect. Dreamers can spend a lot of time frustrated by the inability or unwillingness of their “dream” partner to materialize or commit to them.

Dreamers tend to be very well suited to monogamy, since they are so single-minded about the object of their desire. The problem arises when the reality doesn’t live up to the fantasy the Dreamer has created, or when the relationship is over or hasn’t even begun – a Dreamer can stay single for a long time because of an attachment to an unavailable partner.

Tips for the Dreamer:

Similar to Avoiders, Dreamers need practice dating other people. And they need to focus on becoming their own fantasy. What are the qualities you desire in others? Are they present in you? Can you cultivate them? Oftentimes what we greatly admire in others is a clue to what we desire for ourselves. Dreamers also need a reality check – if you find yourself putting someone up on a pedestal (particularly if you’re not in a relationship), take a step back. Don’t indulge the fantasy but look for the reality of your current situation.

Dreamers should adopt the Avoider strategy and additionally, focus on cultivating personal passions in their own lives.

3. The Martyr

Martyrs can find themselves in the same unfulfilling relationships and romantic entanglements over and over. Common characteristics are:

  • Dating those who “choose” her or him, even when they’re not particularly interested in that person.
  • Getting into relationships with those who mistreat or take advantage of her or him.
  • Making excuses for their partner’s poor behavior, especially if they have a difficult past or childhood.
  • Becoming quickly committed and “serial monogamy” – can find it hard to say no to a new relationship for fear of hurting the other person’s feelings or being alone.

Martyrs can be very empathetic, which is a wonderful quality. However, they can too easily lose their own sense of self worth and diminish their own needs and desires. Unfortunately, it’s easy to justify a relationship with an incompatible or even abusive partner if you’re not able to believe you deserve more (which you do) or that you can find another person who wants to date you (you can, trust me). Martyrdom can easily lead to masochism if you’re not careful.

Tips for the Martyr:

If there is one thing the Martyr needs to focus on, it’s their sense of self-worth. If you are a Martyr, it’s probably a good idea to take a break from dating until you are able to choose your partners from a position of confidence. The goal here is not perfection – it’s knowing that you have something special to offer and you don’t have to settle for anyone who doesn’t excite you and fulfill your needs. Remember – we all deserve someone who wants to be with us for who we are, not just because our partner couldn’t say no.

4. The Nurturer/Protector

The Nurturer/Protector is attracted to those they can care for and protect. Common characteristics are:

  • Attraction to the “potential” in others – maybe an unrealized talent or admirable personality trait.
  • Often “rescuing” partners from some distress – financial trouble, addiction, an abusive or otherwise toxic relationship, or a difficult period of life such as a job loss, health issue or death of a loved one.
  • Can become involved with people at a drastically different stage of life – someone who is much younger or has fewer resources than the Nurturer/Protector to handle their current situation.

Nurturer/Protectors, unconsciously or consciously like a “project”. They pride themselves on being able to see a side or an aspect of a person that most others can’t see. They secretly (or not so secretly) hope that they can love or encourage their partners into lasting change or breakthroughs. This relationship dynamic can lead to resentment on the part of the Nurturer/Protector, who can feel frustrated that their efforts are unappreciated or don’t achieve the results they are hoping for. There is also a danger of unconsciously setting your partner up to continually need your protection and support.

Tips for the Nurturer/Protector:

This dating type can result in well balanced relationships when the person being nurtured/protected is on the same page and enjoys this dynamic. If, however, the Nurturer/Protector finds her or himself in out of balance relationships that lead to resentment, and heartache, take a step back. Look at the commonalities of those you’ve dated – are you always paying the bills, or helping someone find a new place to live, or providing a safe landing for them to exit a bad relationship? The best way to create a new pattern is to shine a light on the existing one and making a new decision going forward.

5. The Charmer

The Charmer is a highly socially intelligent person, and is generally characterized by:

  • Natural charm and magnetism that easily attracts others.
  • Feeling energized by the initial phase of attraction and seduction.
  • Feelings that monogamy is unnatural/unrealistic (at least for them).
  • A series of short relationships or no relationships at all beyond initial days or weeks of seduction.

Charmers love the thrill of the chase (or being chased). They are naturally adept at attracting many potential partners. They can be impulsive and fall in love easily and passionately for a short time. Monogamous relationships tend to be a rare or short-term event for the Charmer who is especially addicted to the novelty of new attractions.

Tips for the Charmer:

Charmer, know thyself! Society might frown upon your charismatic, noncommittal ways, but there is no one way to be in this world. The key for you is to use your powers for good, not evil. Your number one rule should be honesty, honesty, honesty. Starting with yourself. Do you want to have a lasting relationship? If so, pump the brakes and don’t fall into your usual habit of moving at lightning speed.

If you don’t want a commitment, be upfront and take responsibility for the impression you might be conveying by charming new prospects so effectively. You probably have left your fair share of broken hearts in your wake and a lot of those could have been avoided if you were upfront from the beginning (before sex) about what you were looking for.

Those non-Charmers out there have responsibility too, since in many cases we turn off our logical brains in the face of the rush of adrenaline a Charmer can provide. Just as the Charmer should avoid saying what they know the other person wants to hear (unless they mean it), everyone would be wise to take words and actions into account when our hearts are involved. If it’s meant to be, taking it slow won’t stop your relationship from happening.

So, which type are you? Do you recognize yourself in one or more of the above? Do you think I missed a type? Let me know! Leave a comment below or find me on Twitter. You can also sign up for more free advice, updates and even a free session with me at www.francescahogi.com!

Francesca is dating coach, professional matchmaker and regular guest expert on NBC’s The Today Show.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.



Style – The Huffington Post
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Tips in Dating Younger Women Successfully

When men are getting older and still single, there aren’t many women their age still available for them and so they can’t help but date women half their age or women in their late 20s or early 30s. For men in their 40s and those approaching their 50s, dating younger women is something they cannot avoid. Of course, they are more than happy to meet younger women, not to mention younger women are more appealing, exciting and attractive.
Relationships:Dating Articles from EzineArticles.com

Sports News in Brief: ‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating. “Based on the way they keep smiling at each other, it’s pretty obvious something’s going on there,” said Athens, GA resident Paul Nevins, 37, adding that the hosts were openly flirting with each other throughout the “Top 10 Plays” countdown, with Barrie at one point mentioning how cute Anderson looked in his suit today. “They must have taken a trip to Florida together, because they couldn’t stop bringing up some weekend getaway during a segment on the Marlins. Then when Anderson threw to Barrie before the next story, I swear I heard him say, ‘Thanks, honey.’ I’m pretty sure they’re playing footsie underneath that SportsCenter …



The Onion

Looking for love on a dating app? You may find music instead

This undated screenshot image released by Tinder, shows the Tinder profile for Zedd. More musicians are looking to platforms like Tinder and Match to promote their music and reach their fans on-the-go. (Tinder via AP)NEW YORK (AP) — In your quest to find a date, a spouse or a hook-up, you might discover something else when using dating apps: new music.



Music News Headlines – Yahoo News

4 Dating Tips To Help Men Be More Likeable

Guys, are you having problems with dating and finding a girlfriend? Maybe it’s not them. Maybe they don’t like you or aren’t attracted to you for several legitimate reasons. Read about 4 tips that can make your more likeable.
Relationships:Dating Articles from EzineArticles.com

How To Get The Most Out of Dating

Dating can be much more fulfilling when a couple openly and honestly communicates realistic expectations about their relationship. The goal is to foster healthy thinking as a preventative measure during dating that can lead to positive practices and outcomes within a relationship. Seven strategies are provided to help couples think cautiously versus carelessly about dating with a purpose.
Relationships:Dating Articles from EzineArticles.com

58-Year-Old ‘Cougar’ Explains Benefits Of Dating Her 24-Year-Old ‘Cub’

Pie, 58, says she’s proud to be a “cougar” — an older woman who dates younger men. Her current “cub” is 24-year-old Oleg, whom she has been dating for four months. “Oleg is my darling little cub right now. He’s gorgeous,” she says, comparing his good looks to Orlando Bloom. “Sex with younger men, in my experience, they’re just ready to go on a dime.”

Pie says although her choice in men may be unusual for some to understand, she’s proud of her dating habits. “I don’t see myself as a mother figure to these men but I see myself, honest to God, as a mentor,” she says. “Anyone who has an issue with me going out with younger men: Love is love, baby; you never know where you’re going to find it.”

Watch the video above to see where Pie says the “magic” happens, and Pie shares her top 10 tips for dating younger men here.

Have a question for Dr. Phil? Ask it here!

Like Dr. Phil | Follow Dr. Phil | Be on the Show | Ask Dr. Phil

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Dr. Phil – The Huffington Post

Britney Spears — Not Dating Random Louisiana Guy … Just Showing Him Off (PHOTO)

The hot guy Britney Spears posed with on a boat is NOT her new BF, but she did go out of the way to make sure everyone saw them getting cozy … one day before news broke she was single again. According to our sources, Britney was at a lake in…

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Travis Barker — Dating Arianny Celeste is ‘Awesome’

File this one under, “Duhhhh” … but Travis Barker says dating smoking hot UFC ring girl Arianny Celeste is “awesome.” Yep.  We broke the story … the two have been dating for several months and are still going…

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Mariah Carey — Dating Billionaire James Packer (PHOTO)

Mariah Carey has got a new boyfriend, TMZ has learned, a billionaire who’s the 4th wealthiest person down under. The guy is James Packer, a 47-year-old entertainment mogul who sold a media company and now owns a string of hotels and casinos around…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Music


Muslim Matchmaking: 3 Key Issues to Consider When Dating Arab Women

Dating Arab women online is now more popular than ever across the world. Muslim dating has moved up to the next level in matchmaking technology to equal the trend in the Western world. But there are some important cultural considerations when aiming to date an Arab lady.
Relationships:Dating Articles from EzineArticles.com

Walking Dead Co-Stars — Norman Reedus And Emily Kinney Wouldn’t Be Caught Dead Dating

‘Walking Dead’s Daryl Dixon is not dating his fellow survivor pal Beth Greene in real life … so he says. Norman Reedus’ rep tells TMZ, the actor’s relationship with former co-star Emily Kinney is strictly platonic. We got these pics of…

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TMZ Celebrity News for Gossip Rumors


30 Days of Online Dating: Wherein I Explore the Art of the Third-Night Stand

This is a modern dating experiment. One girl. Five dating sites. Hundreds of chats. Thirty days. Thirty dates. Eighteen guys. (?) boyfriend. To start at the beginning, click here — or jump right in at date twenty-five below.

Date 25/30: Tinder James*

TJ: Would you be up for doing something in Manhattan Beach Friday night?

Translation: Would you be up for doing me in Manhattan Beach Friday night. Heyo. Reading right between those well-spaced lines, Tinder James.

AHERHEROIESJRSEJJKAWHEJKAH. I’m not really the one-night stand kind of girl. (Not that I think there’s anything wrong with being the one-night stand kind of girl…it’s juuust not really my MO.) Granted, this is our third date, but it still sort of feels like the same thing. With TJ’s half-baked plans and could-be-(much)(much)-better conversation, I don’t really see a date four in our future. Alas, this whole experiment was about opening myself up to new experiences**, sooooo South Bay here I come! (Sorry, Mom.)

I tell TJ to expect me around 8p.

TJ: Okay. I’m going to get cleaned up. You can park at my place and we can head out from here. Cool?

Absolutely. Not even pretending to meet somewhere else. Really digging the efficiency here.



8:03p: I arrive in Manhattan Beach.

8:07p: I circle the block for the third time, still searching for the address. My GPS continues its campaign for most useless navigation device of the year.

2015-06-05-1433546366-8081259-nav.png

If I could use the map to navigate to this destination, I wouldn’t be asking you, now would I. UGH.

8:10p: TJ is guiding me into the incredibly tiny driveway from his vantage point in the window above. No, really, don’t come down.

8:14p: I am met in the entryway, already itching for a spirited beverage of some sort. Fun fact: Long distance drives do not make anything grow fonder.

TJ: Are you hungry?

I mean, I haven’t eaten yet, if that’s what you’re asking.

Please see fun fact above regarding distance/general attitude on life.

We walk down to Pisces Sushi on Highland, where we have an almost average conversation over sushi, sake, and Sapporos.

Might need something a little stronger to make this happen.

We stroll down to a little dive bar. Well, I should specify, we stroll down the street and stand on the corner for a solid six minutes, debating where to go. This is your hood, TJ — call an audible. Please make something audible. (His voice hasn’t gotten any louder since our last date. I still don’t understand how a voice can be so consistently soundless.)

He settles on OB’s Pub & Grill. Sawdust on the floor, peanuts on the table, and remarkably stiff cocktails a mere order away. Divine. And somehow perfectly appropriate for the evening at hand.

Two loaded cocktails later, TJ finally starts to open up — about his anger management issues and penchant for bar fights. Ho-kay. Maybe we should go back to that less conversation thing. He also hates his roommate, so I have that to look forward to when we get back to his place. Thank you, Jesus, for bolding and italicizing the expiration date on this one.

We stop at a liquor store on the way back to grab, well, more liquor. Because, you know, our souls are so compatible and stuff.

Everything goes pretty much as expected from here on out — except for the part where he insists on carrying all 118*** lbs of me from the couch to the boudoir. Thirty feet away. Seriously, man, I can walk. This is so awkward. (Currently regretting every peanut.)

The next morning, he’s fixing me a cup of tea, I’m fixing to leave, and my BlackBerry has found itself in a fix. It’s dead. In all the excitement over my one-way trip to Ho-ville, I neglected to charge my precious phone/I’m supposed to be meeting up with friends and sort of need the address of where that meeting spot is. Cue: One of the more excruciating hours of my life. LINGER LINGER LINGER.

Later that evening, I’m at dinner with one of my guy friends:

Me: Dude. My ABS. So much pain. WTF did I do to them.
GF: Hahahaha. From all the SEX you had last night. You’ve got to get yourself in sex shape, girl.

He then theorizes logistics, landing on what he believes to be the exact play-by-play of my ab-ripping rumble in the heyyyy. Really happy he’s finding so much pleasure in my pain. Really happy all of our mutual friends are finding so much pleasure in my pain. (GF thought this landmark event was 100 percent deserving of a group text announcement.) (I need new friends.)

Tinder James would text weather nonsensicals for a couple days and send a status check one week later.

TJ: Hey, how was your week and weekend?

And scene.

*Not his real name
**Is that what this experiment was all about? I can barely remember anymore. (Also, heyo.)
***Not my real weight

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Dating Choices: Are There Too Many Options?

I just finished watching a six week series on FYI that was actually quite intriguing. The show itself was down right brain stimulation for me. The name of the show is Married at First Sight, and the premise of the show is exactly as the title appears. Four experts including a Professor of sociology, a clinical psychologist, a humanist chaplain (AKA spiritual counselor), and a sexologist take a group of individuals and play matchmaker.

The individuals are advised they have been picked for the social experiment which will track them for six weeks. Week 1 — a true and legally binding wedding. Week 6 — they decide if they want to remain married or get a divorce.

So, this brings me to my question: In this “day and age” is the issue in the single world that we have too many options? Too many choices?

I have been on Match.com a few times. About two years ago, I decided I was ready to date. After meeting several new friends, people I hope I never have to have coffee again, and some people that clearly just weren’t meant for me, I found a wonderful man. Little did I know everything about him was a lie. I am a woman who got the old “Bait and Switch”.

In three months on Match.com, I received over 300 emails. Some from men who just “winked” and never returned, some men who wrote one email and never returned, some turned in to dates, some into dates I wish I had not wasted my makeup on, and one turned into more — for a short period of time. But again, after a few months he realized he wasn’t what he said he was. Turns out even with all of those choices, I got hurt again.

It gets me thinking about all of these experiences and choices vs. what if I had experts who concluded that I was a perfect match for someone. Would I marry someone based on those tests? My answer is easy and a clear shouting: yes.

While I have never been on Tinder, I am aware of the “swipe right” technology and how easy it is to look at a picture and say nope… not the one for me! I also know that as soon as I signed up for Match.com there were literally thousands of profiles of men to choose from. So how do you narrow that down? Which box do you check for “important” keeping in mind the deception factor that always exists on the Internet?

With the technology advancing, the communication ability decreases tenfold. People don’t feel comfortable approaching each other because of what society has labeled them. If a woman approaches a man she’s desperate or horny. If a man approaches a woman he’s just a creeper or someone to fear. No one trusts each other, but yet there is a special section on Craigslist in every city called “missed connections” specifically for people who didn’t talk to each other in person but feel okay trying to connect through the internet.

Relationships are never easy. Those who marry end up sacrificed to the divorce gods in upwards of 50 percent of first time marriages and the number of people in subsequent marriages who end up divorced is even higher. Why is that? What happened to vows?

On Married at First Sight, out of the three couples, two decided to stay married. The third couple, the man wasn’t who he told the experts he was. He had them believing he was ready for marriage and open to certain things when in actuality they were deal breakers. He just wasn’t invested and didn’t want to do the work to find out if it could really work. In turn, the woman involved felt as though she had done something wrong and was tremendously hurt.

I almost feel like that last couple encompassed my entire dating/love history in six short weeks. Married to a man that couldn’t come home because work was more important. The woman sleeping alone even though she’s in a relationship. The woman opening herself up and continually trying to move the relationship forward, while the man is making plans to just stay in his old life, in his old house, with his old familiar job and lets her go instead of doing the work to keep her.

Take away the “grass is always greener” option and instead show me truth. How about these experts find someone who is equally dedicated to a relationship, loyal, kind, independent and self-sufficient, yet wanting to share their life with someone? Someone who is open to both receiving and giving love, who will debate and get passionate over something they truly care about. Then have the experts tell me where to meet him, and yes. I would absolutely do it. Why? Because I am overwhelmed by the choices and clearly no good and making the partner choice for myself; maybe an expert or old fashioned arranged marriage without the option of divorce, is exactly what more people need to teach them the meaning of fix it, don’t throw it away.

I think everyone out there currently married or not has been hurt and has been thrown back to the dating wolves. Am I saying arranged marriages need to make a comeback over all? No. But everyone needs to stop and really think about who they are and what they want. What are non-negotiables for you in a partner? Don’t get wrapped up in feel good of the butterflies in the stomach moment and let go all of what you think is important.

But also, don’t throw away something beautiful that may be ugly today, just for the hopes of finding something better tomorrow. Stay. Fix it. Make it work and don’t give up. If you are like me and don’t have that partner yet… they’re coming. They may just need a better road map with less distractions and fewer choices.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Is Sexless Dating Even Possible If You’re Over 40?

There are many reasons men and women have an interest in dating. They range from just wanting to have fun, the desire to meet interesting people, the need or want for sex, or the biggie: the hope of falling in love. But what if you have an interest in dating, but wish to take sex off the table? Is that realistic in today’s society and is it even possible when you’re over 40?

My gut reaction to this question is, why does dating have to equate to sex? Not just for dating over 40, but for any age? I look at dating and sex as going hand in hand if the chemistry and situation is right, but I think the two are mutually exclusive until that happens.

I think people put way too much pressure on themselves when it comes to sex. Having sex seems to be everyone’s biggest fear–men and women–in dating after divorce, which is understandable because it is a vulnerable, scary time where self-esteem isn’t at its best.

I have to wonder if there are expectations from daters when it comes to sex. I, personally have no expectations of sex or no sex when dating, and I don’t think there are any rules when it comes to dating and sex.

If someone tells me he or she went on a first date and had sex, I don’t judge. Do I think it is wise? In the majority of cases, no. But there are exceptions.

If someone says, “I’ve been out with this guy five times and we still haven’t slept together,” I don’t judge, either. One or both of the people have to feel like it is right to take things to a physical level, and if neither or one does, then sex is off the table, right?

The only thing I think is kind of gross, and again I’m not judging anyone else, but for me, I couldn’t sleep with someone who I suspect is sleeping with other women. I have written this before and people have written back and said, “Get over it!” But that’s just my stance. Everyone has to do what they feel is right for them.

Sex can be breathtaking and fun and exciting and mean the world with the right person. Sex can also be awkward and boring and considered a huge mistake if under the wrong circumstances or with the wrong person. Every situation is different.

My opinion is, if you want to engage in sexless dating, go out on dates with no expectations of sex. Assume you aren’t going to get physical and enjoy feeling safe in that comfort zone. Go on dates for companionship, interest, fun, to make new friends, and maybe even for a really nice kiss.

If you find yourself in a situation where someone expects sex, that’s his problem. No one should ever feel obligated or pressured to do anything he or she does not want to do. Also, make sure you never put yourself in a unsafe situation, like going back to the home of a guy you just met, or having him over.

On the other hand, you might surprise yourself. You might meet someone you really like and you might end up wanting to sleep with him. I’m sure it is hard to imagine if you go into dating with a sexless mindset), but I’ve seen it a thousand times in newly separated men and women. The spark ignites and it is totally unexpected. If and when that happens is dependent on the situation, the two people, and honestly, the stars. It’s beautiful to see, as a moment like that brings anyone who has ever had a broken heart hope and rejuvenation.

Just remember that dating doesn’t have to mean sex, unless you and the person you are dating wants that.

Take the pressure off yourself and just enjoy your sexless dating. As scary as it might seem, dating can be really really fun and interesting. Dating means the possibility of meeting people who become gifts in your life. And dare I say that finding love could happen? Don’t rule that out. Statistics show that a couple falls in love every 93 minutes!

Honestly, I just made that up, but one thing is for sure. You aren’t going to meet him (or her) if you sit on your couch. So, if you choose, engage in sexless dating and stop thinking too much about the pressure of taking off your clothes. Most of that pressure is probably coming from you.

Jackie Pilossoph is the author of her blog, Divorced Girl Smiling, and the comedic divorce novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase. She also writes feature stories, along with the weekly dating and relationships column, Love Essentially” for Chicago Tribune Media Group local publications. Pilossoph lives in Chicago. Oh, and she’s divorced.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Nick Jonas and Olivia Culpo Have Split After Nearly Two Years of Dating

Looks like it won't be a summer of love for Nick Jonas and Olivia Culpo, the inspiration behind Jonas' hit song "Jealous." The two have reportedly split after nearly two years of dating, Us Weekly…




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Men’s 6 Pet Peeves About Middle-Aged Women’s Online Dating Profiles

2015-06-06-1433577878-636944-898173148816530425.jpg

Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men’s online dating profiles, and I promised everyone that this week I’d focus on middle-aged women’s online dating profiles. Since I’m far more familiar with men’s profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you’re a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your “Viewed Me” list, I’m sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:

  1. Waaaay too Many Pet Photos. This was a huge complaint among the men I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we’re on the topic of pet photos, I have a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photos of your cats. This is so important. I can’t emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already have to deal with far too many negative stereotypes, and the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) only serve to reinforce them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel undesirable, and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
  2. No. More. Instagram. Photos. I love Instagram photos because many of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photos on my online dating profile? No I do not. Why? Because my eyes aren’t really that blue (or green or lavender), and I’m about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed – artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photos. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
  3. Looking for Your Knight in Shining Armor. I’m not sure if men have an issue with this one, but I find it a tad bit, well, exploitative when women don’t list an occupation or income level, and yet have a lower income limit for men of $ 150,000 per year. C’mon now, it’s 2015. Let’s put our interests and actions where our collective feminist mouths are. Gender equity means we are financially responsible for ourselves. Period.
  4. Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably love them), but I do think it’s important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the online dating world are using the “athletic and toned” descriptor in reference to their “about average” bodies (this complaint applies to men as well, of course). The thing is, there really isn’t anything wrong with having an about average (or curvy) body so let’s take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn’t going to kill us, and it isn’t going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
  5. Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want a quality man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, and then you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else’s bed). And if you aren’t posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you’re posting photos with far too much cleavage. Now, that’s absolutely fine — I have no problem at all with this, and I’m sure many men don’t have a problem either — but what some men do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamour shots and then complain to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and only want them for sex. And while we’re on the subject of complaint-filled profiles…
  6. Stop Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several men noted how many women’s online dating profiles are comprised primarily of complaints about men – either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the men on this one. There is no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven’s sakes use a blog for that). So while I’m certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can maintain our positive expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn’t quite right. Far too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a desire to be nice and not appear rude, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great sadness that she just couldn’t trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about one of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his connections to powerful people all over the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that’s not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by “his people.” And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could just no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.

One more thing. I would like to ask all of my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let’s rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let’s omit these too: “I look 10 years younger than I am,” “I hate talking about myself, but…” and any and all derivatives of “my friends/mom/ex/kids tell me that …I’m a glass-half-full optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am.” I think that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Men’s 6 Pet Peeves About Middle-Aged Women’s Online Dating Profiles

2015-06-06-1433577878-636944-898173148816530425.jpg

Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men’s online dating profiles, and I promised everyone that this week I’d focus on middle-aged women’s online dating profiles. Since I’m far more familiar with men’s profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you’re a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your “Viewed Me” list, I’m sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:

  1. Waaaay too Many Pet Photos. This was a huge complaint among the men I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we’re on the topic of pet photos, I have a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photos of your cats. This is so important. I can’t emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already have to deal with far too many negative stereotypes, and the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) only serve to reinforce them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel undesirable, and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
  2. No. More. Instagram. Photos. I love Instagram photos because many of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photos on my online dating profile? No I do not. Why? Because my eyes aren’t really that blue (or green or lavender), and I’m about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed – artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photos. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
  3. Looking for Your Knight in Shining Armor. I’m not sure if men have an issue with this one, but I find it a tad bit, well, exploitative when women don’t list an occupation or income level, and yet have a lower income limit for men of $ 150,000 per year. C’mon now, it’s 2015. Let’s put our interests and actions where our collective feminist mouths are. Gender equity means we are financially responsible for ourselves. Period.
  4. Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably love them), but I do think it’s important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the online dating world are using the “athletic and toned” descriptor in reference to their “about average” bodies (this complaint applies to men as well, of course). The thing is, there really isn’t anything wrong with having an about average (or curvy) body so let’s take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn’t going to kill us, and it isn’t going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
  5. Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want a quality man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, and then you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else’s bed). And if you aren’t posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you’re posting photos with far too much cleavage. Now, that’s absolutely fine — I have no problem at all with this, and I’m sure many men don’t have a problem either — but what some men do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamour shots and then complain to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and only want them for sex. And while we’re on the subject of complaint-filled profiles…
  6. Stop Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several men noted how many women’s online dating profiles are comprised primarily of complaints about men – either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the men on this one. There is no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven’s sakes use a blog for that). So while I’m certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can maintain our positive expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn’t quite right. Far too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a desire to be nice and not appear rude, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great sadness that she just couldn’t trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about one of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his connections to powerful people all over the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that’s not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by “his people.” And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could just no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.

One more thing. I would like to ask all of my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let’s rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let’s omit these too: “I look 10 years younger than I am,” “I hate talking about myself, but…” and any and all derivatives of “my friends/mom/ex/kids tell me that …I’m a glass-half-full optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am.” I think that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the business of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

5 Steps That Will Make You Love Online Dating Over 50

When I first started dating in my mid 40s, I had no clue what to do when it came to navigating the world of online dating sites.

I look back and wince at how often I allowed men to make me their email pal or phone pal. The worst part is, I was thrilled by it. You see, I figured they picked me out of every other woman to speak with. So in return, it was my duty to let them yak for hours about themselves and their days.

Night after night, I’d think I was doing the right thing. But guess what … No date ever came out of a single one of those nighttime talkers.

I had to learn the hard way how to set boundaries and move interesting men through the process to get first and second dates with them. I don’t want you to have to learn the hard way. Take the tips in these five steps to move from, “Oh, he looks cute,” to “Yes, I’d like to go out with you again!”

Step 1: Don’t choose ‘the one’ based on what you see online.

Some men look great on paper, don’t they? Then you meet them in person and you think, “What happened to the one I thought was so great online? Where is that guy?”

This happens because you paint a picture in your mind of who someone might be based on a couple of paragraphs and a small profile picture. More than likely, he isn’t that person and you’ve set yourself up for being disappointed when he’s not who you thought he was.

Try and leave out any expectations and pictures of who you think a man might be until you’ve actually met him.

Step 2: Making contact.

I usually recommend you let men contact you. I always found it fizzled when I was the first to get the ball rolling.

Now that being said, I know of two very good relationships where the woman contacted the man first.

It’s worth a try if you are really interested in a man, but make sure you aren’t attached to whether or not he writes you back.

Keep emails to a maximum of three to five each between you. Beyond that, you are becoming his pen pal. You really want to take it to next step fairly quickly.

Step 3: Using the phone to your advantage.

I recommend limiting phone conversations to one to three at the most. Limiting the number of calls keeps you from endless nights on the phone that go nowhere.

This gives you the opportunity to screen a man. If you choose to meet without this step, you could be quite surprised by who shows up.

I remember a date with a guy who asked me to meet him at an ice cream shop. I thought it was a cute idea. The problem was, he had no job and no money for dating, so no ice cream!

I would have found that out if I’d spent some time on the phone with him before meeting him.

It really is worth squeezing in at least one call to see if he has any obvious deal breaker qualities so you aren’t wasting your time on the next step.

Step 4: Taking it to the first date.

So he sounds nice on the phone. Now it’s time to get off the phone and meet in person.

I like meeting for coffee or tea. A meal is great but it can be very long and you have to be at your best for at least an hour. It’s exhausting, and it leads to feeling worn down by dating.

Meeting at a coffee shop can be short and sweet and you can be out of there within half an hour or less once your beverage is done.

If the date is going well … you can take it to a meal but I do suggest limiting first dates to less than two hours. Leave some mystery and intrigue for next time.

Step 5: Getting that elusive second date.

You’ve painted a picture of him in your head, and guess what… He’s done the same thing about the woman he wants and if you don’t fit that picture, a second date is not going to be in the cards.

Try and remember, it’s not about you! It’s about him and his idea of who he wants.

Women do the same thing. Think of all the guys you have turned down because they didn’t fit your picture of Mr. Right.

Try and view every date as a way to get to know someone new and interesting. And promise me this: if he doesn’t ask you out again, don’t write, text or call him.

Move on to the next guy because your goal is to have someone who wants you in his life. When you think about it, do you really want a guy you have to push to ask you out again?

Lisa Copeland is known as the expert on over 50’s dating. Her mission is to help as many women around the world as she can discover how to have fun dating and finding their Mr. Right after 50. To get your free report, “5 Little Known Secrets To Find A Quality Man,” visit www.findaqualityman.com.

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

5 Rules for Dating as a Single Parent

It took me three years after my separation (two, post-divorce) to feel comfortable and complete enough in my own skin and start dating seriously.

It didn’t take that long for me to date, obviously, but I hadn’t been pursuing dating with the idea of finding another long-term partner. It’s normal to feel free and giddy and ready for the love and affection we need, after a rough-and-tumble divorce. Marital breaks don’t occur overnight, chances are you’ve gone through quite a long time not getting your needs met far before your divorce occurred. I know many people who started dating around before their divorce was even final, but typically not with wedding bells in mind.

When you’re at a point where you are looking seriously for a long-term partner (or if you’ve happened to fall into that situation without even trying), there are a few guidelines that may make the transition easier for you and your kids.

Get to know each other, alone, first.

Often, alone time isn’t easy to come by for a single parent. However, it’s crucial that you spend the first few weeks (or, better, months) dating privately before introducing your new significant other to your children. Get to know each other one-on-one, make sure you’re a good fit for each other and this relationship has a future before involving your kids’ emotions. Be careful to not mistake the initial attraction and puppy love for real, long-term compatibility.

Take your time.

Take into account the seriousness of your children meeting your significant other. Your children may feel hesitant. They may be jealous that someone else is taking your time away from them. They may be worried about ‘betraying’ their other parent by liking your new beau. They may feel it’s risky to invest their feelings when they’re not sure if this is a long-term arrangement. They may be worried that your new partner won’t like them, or that they won’t like your partner. Take your time and ease into this major transition with your children, keeping all lines of communication open.

Make the initial meeting as low-stress as possible.

Do something fun and low-stress together. Go to a playground, catch a baseball game, hit up Chuck E. Cheese. Take the kids somewhere they’ll have fun, and let them ease into meeting the new person in your life. Children tend to learn and adapt best through play – incorporate that throughout the first few meetings with your new significant other and the transition will ease into place more naturally.

Don’t force it.

Let your children help dictate the speed that you all get to know each other. The last thing you want to do is strain your relationship with your kids, so take it slowly and be mindful of how everyone seems to be adapting. Keep the lines of communication open both with and without your significant other involved. At first your children may not feel comfortable opening up while someone new is present, but that doesn’t mean they’ll always feel that way. While your children should not be allowed to dictate your dating life, their opinions and input should be considered and respected. Don’t force them into a new relationship with your partner. Be patient with them while they adapt.

If you break up, give your children a safe place to feel sad.

A break-up is a situation that your kids don’t have any control over. While it’s not a good idea to stay in a bad relationship because of your children, it’s important to understand they will feel a sense of longing and loss for your partner, just as you may.

Talk to your kids and make sure they feel safe confiding their feelings about the situation to you. Don’t draw it out, and don’t talk to them until you’re absolutely sure things are final. There’s nothing worse than telling your kids it’s over and then having to say it’s not. If the break is final, be gentle with your children about it, and allow them to be sad. Feel comfortable sharing your own sadness with them as well; it’s okay for your children to see you’re human and dealing with the same sense of loss they feel.

Introducing someone new (or potentially a few new people if your partner has children) into your family unit doesn’t have to be a mess. If you’re both willing to take things slowly and keep communication open, you’ll have better luck with the transition in the long run.

What strategies have worked for you? Leave a comment below!

Kasey Ferris is a freelance writer and mother-of-five. She eats too many Oreos and thinks life is much better when you’re laughing. Find her at facebook.com/KaseyFerrisWrites.

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58-Year-Old ‘Cougar’ Explains Benefits Of Dating Her 24-Year-Old ‘Cub’

Pie, 58, says she’s proud to be a “cougar” — an older woman who dates younger men. Her current “cub” is 24-year-old Oleg, whom she has been dating for four months. “Oleg is my darling little cub right now. He’s gorgeous,” she says, comparing his good looks to Orlando Bloom. “Sex with younger men, in my experience, they’re just ready to go on a dime.”

Pie says although her choice in men may be unusual for some to understand, she’s proud of her dating habits. “I don’t see myself as a mother figure to these men but I see myself, honest to God, as a mentor,” she says. “Anyone who has an issue with me going out with younger men: Love is love, baby; you never know where you’re going to find it.”

Watch the video above to see where Pie says the “magic” happens, and Pie shares her top 10 tips for dating younger men here.

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Looks Like Gigi Hadid And Joe Jonas Might Be Dating

The question of “are they or aren’t they” is finally settled.

Gigi Hadid and Joe Jonas are reportedly “hooking up” now after first denying there was anything romantic going on, and that they were “just friends.”

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Gene Simmons Confesses He Fell In Love With Diana Ross While Dating Cher

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Dating At 40 Is Messy

Dating when you’re pushing 40 means previous marriages and spouses, ex-boyfriends and girlfriends, children with different parents, two different households with two different schedules, expectations, and above all, two people pretty set in the way they like to live their lives. At best, it’s very complicated and it’s always extremely messy.

You meet a great guy, but he lives far away, has a demanding career and two kids on three different baseball teams. For some extra sh*ts and giggles, why not throw in a very “complicated” ex? On your daily plate are two kids with their own activities, work, a pretty packed social schedule, one ex husband and above all, a zip code you refuse to leave.

But, you can’t predict who it is that will be the right person for you. Who will make you laugh, cry, scream (in that good way); who will make you feel safe and cared for and with whom you will feel utterly at peace. You can’t fake ease, compatibility, respect, honor and love. The benefit of dating when you’re pushing 40 is that you know when it’s right. And if you’ve paid attention, then you know that sustaining a meaningful and long-lasting relationship isn’t about being clean; it’s ALL about how you clean up the mess.

Hours are spent on mind-numbing calendar negotiations. Being in the same place is your new priority, so you give up a drawer in your closet and a shelf in the bathroom to make that one place feel like home to your new part-time live-in love. Slowly, one drawer turns into three and a section of hanging space. You bite your tongue when his ex calls; you attend parties and events on your own — thank you, Uber. He gets new babysitters and drives up to see you any chance he can. You both leave sweet notes around the house for each other and make sure to be there when it’s really needed. He gives your kids extra ice cream and you replace his kids’ soda with water. There are times you travel together, but often with only some of the parts that make up your whole. Someone is usually missing someone in this new modern equation. Some nights when you are just too tired to talk, things get missed. It’s all mess, mess, messy.

Since being with the right person some of time/half the time/most of the time (when you’re lucky) is better than being with anyone else all the time, you decide that being location-challenged is do-able, albeit with a good dose of longing. In time, you even learn to shrug it off when that one-day booked months ago for your big “Brady Bunch” gathering is cancelled. For the 9-year-old’s baseball playoffs.

Life is messy, love is messier and dating at a certain age is the messiest. So, when you find the person that you want to spend the rest of your days with, you start to tidy up. It’s best to accept that which is and always, always, have the wisdom to know when to call a cleaning service.

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TV heartthrob Robert Buckley shares his dating pet peeve backstage at TODAY

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4 Tips for Playing The Dating Game

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5 New Dating Rules You Need To Know Right Now

In this new and ever changing time the world of relationships and dating can seem a daunting thing. If you have been out of the dating scene for while make sure you know the rules of dating to give yourself the best chance of finding that special person.
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The Dos And Don’ts Of Writing An Online Dating Profile

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There is such a lot of conflicting advice out there on how to write your online dating profile. And let’s be honest, it is important to get it right. I’ve found it helpful to think about your profile rather like a cross between a CV and a great piece of PR. Does that sound tough? Well, if you want to stand out from everyone else online then it’s well worth spending some time thinking about what you want to say and how you want to come across to potential dates. It’s not about making things up but it is about thinking creatively. It’s about showing rather than telling. Nobody wants to read yet another profile about loving country walks, watching films curled up on the sofa, having a good sense of humor …. yawn!

With a good few years dating experience behind me and now with the wonderful job of helping people create an Irresistible Dating Profile these are the dos and don’ts of profile writing that I’ve learned.

The Dos

  • Facts not fiction — if you are a couch potato don’t talk about your fitness schedule … unless you’re looking for someone to help you off the couch.
  • Do be happy to stand out — celebrate your unique qualities.
  • Be interesting — what’s the most interesting thing about you?
  • Be succinct — not quite Twitter-like but make your profile snappy.
  • Be specific — instead of saying ‘enjoy Friday nights out in the bar’ say ‘Friday evenings I can be found enjoying Cabernet Sauvignon with my oldest friends, catching up on each other’s latest adventures.’
  • Paint a picture of your life — fitness might be important to you (and 2 million others) so say more — you get your annual skiing fix in Boulder Colorado, you’re working towards the next Ironman.
  • Be different — share your unique hobbies or leisure activities. Stand out. Free diving, growing bonsai trees or burlesque dancing … share it!
  • Be playful with your username and headline — create a hook. You want possible matches curious to know more.
  • Do share some of your values — talk about those things that are important to you in life, you’re more likely to attract those who are compatible.
  • Make sure you’re in a great frame of mind before you write your profile — play your happy music and wear your lucky t-shirt.
  • Give details — If you say you love music, say which band and when you last saw them. If you love cooking say why and who inspires you. If you love gardening say how it makes you feel … You get the picture?

The Don’ts

  • Don’t be shy and uncertain about yourself. Go easy on the self deprecation.
  • Don’t tell lies, however minor because you will be found out! And a relationship that begins with a lie will not recover. If you’re 43 don’t say you’re 38. Just don’t.
  • Don’t make demands on the type of person you’re looking for … this is not a shopping list. Don’t start a sentence with, “you must be…” or, “I’ll only date someone who is…” Get over yourself!
  • Don’t be a victim. Don’t badmouth your ex and don’t talk about dating disasters. It’s not nice.
  • Don’t TELL what a cool person you are. Instead SHOW by sharing some great stories of adventures or a snapshot of your life.
  • Don’t start each sentence with “I” … that’s boring. Mix it up a little. Instead of “I love cycling and went to Paris to watch the final stage of the Tour de France. It was brilliant” How about, “Standing on the Champs Elysée for the final stage of the Tour de France was a dream come true for the avid cyclist I am. Being surrounded by so many likeminded people was inspiring.”
  • Don’t go on about things you dislike. It’s not attractive
  • Don’t go overboard on exclamation marks, emoticons. You’re not a teenager.
  • Don’t be afraid to say what you want. Looking for a life partner? Say it.
  • Don’t be lame — ‘my friends made me sign up’, ‘I don’t know what to write’, ‘my character? Don’t know really but my friends say I’m fun to be around’ … pleease…just don’t do it!

If you use these as pointers when you’re writing your profile you will stand out … that’s a promise! I love that I now get time with amazing people guiding them to creating a stand out dating profile. If you’d like some one-to-one support take a look and see how I could help you.

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

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14 Tips for Guys Interested in Dating Single Moms

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I go out with single dads and childless men alike, as I write at WealthySingleMommy.com, and some of the latter admit (while others appear) to be uncertain about the logistics of dating single moms. Here’s a few tips which apply if you’d like to seriously date a mom:

  1. Don’t assume she’s not free when her kids are home. Women like to be asked out. If you’re interested and want to see her, ask her out. If she prefers not to go out when her kids are home, or doesn’t like to hire a babysitter on school nights, she’ll tell you. If you don’t ask her out — no matter how innocuous or considerate the reason — she will assume you don’t want to see her.
  2. Ask her out ASAP. Leave the ask to the last minute, she has to scramble to find a sitter and that’s really uncool. Plus, it tells her (and any other woman, for that matter) that she was your Plan B for the evening. Which she may be. But if you really want to see her, give her plenty of time to sort out her schedule.
  3. Ask about her kids. She won’t assume you’re a pedophile. This shows interest in one of the most important things in her life. In fact, if you DON’T appear interested in her family she’ll think that you’re not into kids.
  4. Let her know you love kids. Assuming it’s true. Sounds cliche’, but I always appreciate it when a guy goes on about how much he adores his niece, or spends time with a friend’s baby. When a guy laughs at my funny-kid story, or is sympathetic about my mom worries, I’m in.
  5. Don’t assume she is down and out. Maybe she is broke, but don’t assume. It will piss her off.
  6. Don’t assume her kids need a new dad. They have a dad, regardless of whether he is in the picture, in the can, or in and out of the psych hospital.
  7. If you’re out and she is paying for a sitter it is really nice if you get the check. This isn’t necessary, and especially after you have been involved for a while you will likely sort out the who-pays-when conundrum. But if you tend to take turns picking up the bill, but she sometimes rearranges her life to get out of the house and pays for a babysitter so she can spend time with you, acknowledge that.
  8. “You look great for a mom.” That. Never say that.
  9. Don’t ask to come up when her kid are asleep. Just don’t.
  10. Hang tight on asking about visitation schedules. Of course you want to know when she is free, if she has the kids all the time and whether the dad is involved. But if you explicitly ask these details on the first or second date you will appear reluctant about dating a woman with kids. Which you may be – but if you ask too fast, she will know. But she wants to feel like you’re interested in her in every part of her womanhood — including motherhood.
  11. Wait for her to bring up introducing the kids.
  12. If it has been more than a few months, or things get very serious very quickly, and she hasn’t brought up introducing the kids, bring it up.
  13. Know that when she invites you over, it is more work for her than when you invite her over. Yes, moms are really efficient and they’re used to doing a lot of cooking and cleaning. But if a single mom invites you over for dinner — whether a romantic evening for two, or with her kids — she had to clean up a whole lot of Legos and finger paint and sting cheese wrappers, and wrangles in an extra trip to the market and wine store to make it happen. It may appear effortless, but effortless actually takes more effort.
  14. Respect that it’s a big deal when she introduces you to her kids. She is opening up her life and her whole family’s life to you. Treat this gesture accordingly.

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Dina Lohan — I’m Dating a Techie!!!

Dina Lohan is dating a high-educated guy who describes himself as part hunter, part farmer. Kevin Jensen has been pretty deep in a long-distance relationship with Lindsay’s mom, flying here and there for the last 3 months for hookups. Kevin’s CV is…

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Tyga — Here’s Why I’m Dating Kylie Jenner

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The Game — Dating Show Crew Strikes … Our Lives Are in Danger!!!

The Game had his dating show derailed a few days ago when his TV crew went on strike after the rapper pulled a loaded gun when cameras were rolling … sources tell TMZ. Game is doing a show called “She’s Got Game,” in which he searches for true love.…

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You Guys, This Is Adorable: A Dating Show for Senior Citizens

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My Cyber Dance Card Is Empty: Online Dating After 40

Recently I met a single girlfriend for coffee and she bitched, “Jesus, this online dating thing is like having a part-time job. I can’t manage all the emails. I have to use descriptive code names to keep them straight: 90 degrees, Firepower, Beard of Love, Jagger Tongue and Hairless Harry. But-“

“What’s the 90 degrees stand for?” I interrupted.

“He’s got a curved –“

“Really? A right angle? I’d like to see that.”

I cringed as she complained about being overwhelmed with dates. That hasn’t been my experience. There’s no line of single men wrapped around my cyberblock. “Yeah…I don’t know,” I confessed, “I think it’s time for me to throw in the towel on the whole online dating thing and go back to wearing comfy undies.”

“Don’t do that. You need to get out. Be seen. Have fun. You can’t spend every Friday and Saturday night in your bathrobe watching HGTV.”

“I’m all for having fun, but the online thing never works for me. One weirdo insisted I send him a selfie on the scale to verify I have curves, not rolls. Another said he was divorced when he wasn’t. One creep’s opening line was, “So…what’s your favorite line in The Hobbit?” I might just buy a Snuggie, a Slurpie punch card, and adopt seven or eight cats,” I said.

“Lemme see your profile,” she insisted.

I thought it was pretty decent. After all, I’m a writer. I sounded smart, creative and kinda funny. But after careful examination, I realized it read more like an ad for a rescue dog: friendly, outgoing, dependable, and loyal. It may have been code for: please take me home, pant, pant… I’m desperate…pant, pant. The only thing missing: great at licking balls.

My friend was adamant, “Men are looking for a sexy, confident woman, not a lonely pup from the pound. Simply bedazzle your profile. Add stuff like: former gymnast, culinary whiz specializing in aphrodisiacs, and financially independent Victoria’s Secret hoarder.”

“Yeah, but that’s a bunch of bull. I’m not all those things,” I said.

“Right,” she said, “but who cares? You only need to sound interesting. You don’t need to actually be interesting.”

“Oh God,” she moaned, continuing to read my profile. “Epic fail here. You can’t mention you’ve got three boys.”

“But I have three boys–“

“Well, you don’t need to brag about it. Kids are a turn off. The mother-thing is a drag.”

“The mother-thing? Most men have their own children.”

“News flash: divorced 45 year-old men don’t want to date 45 year-old moms. They want women in their 20s and 30s. Younger women — even if they have six kids. In fact, 50-60 year-old men want women in their 20s and 30s, too. I suppose some older men might settle for a 45 year-old.”

“Settle? Jesus, don’t hold back.”

“Yeah, well, this is the shit people don’t tell you when you get divorced.”

“You see,” she continued, “for the most part, men 55 – 65, the ones who might have an interest in you, have grown children. They don’t wanna carry your lawn chair to soccer games, spend Saturdays at swim meets or help with homework on school nights. They rode that roller coaster with their first wives. You need to appear flexible, carefree, and able to travel on a whim. They won’t invite you to the BVI or Vail if you’ve got three kids. They want a playmate, not a second family to raise.”

“So, let me get this straight,” I said. “I should fake that I don’t have kids in order to get dates with men who have kids, who I’ll eventually have to stop dating because I have kids.”

My friend bit her lip and tapped her fingernail on the table. “Yeah,” she said, “basically you’re screwed. Good thing you have a dog.”

Read more from Liesl on her website, Hairpin Turns Ahead. Follow Liesl on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.

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If Instagram, Facebook And Snapchat Started Dating

You don’t want to go on a date with Instagram. Homegirl would be way too preoccupied with snapping photos of her food.

That’s a key takeaway in a playful new sketch by YouTuber Emma Blackery. In the clip, Blackery imagines what it would be like if websites — including Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and Tumblr — went on actual dates. Facebook can’t stop rambling on about people you may know, Snapchat has all of 10 seconds for you (typical) and Google+? Google+ is in severe need of some love.

Sounds about right.

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Are You Dating A Closet Narcissist?

Spot the 10 subtle clues to see if your boyfriend or husband is a undercover closet narcissist. Does he have a need for admiration? Envious of others success? Read more and spot the signs.
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This Adorable Dating Show Helps Senior Citizens Find Love

True love can strike at any age—and now, there's a new reality show to help those sparks fly for the 55 and older crowd. It's called Never Too Late to Date, and it airs on…




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Online Dating Survey: Single Moms Are Finding Love 10% Faster

This Mother’s Day, online dating site PlentyOfFish polled over 1000 single mothers between the ages of 19-50 with children under 18 years old.

So let’s look at the online dating behaviors of single moms and what their children think of their dates. If you think being a single mom reduces your chance of finding love online, this is a misconception among many others.

This survey revealed that 44% of women dating are line are single moms and their reasons for going online and what they’re looking for may surprise you. With almost 28% of single moms admitting they’ve been dating online for over three years, this survey states that they might not be looking for a knight in white armor.

What’s exciting for single moms, it is turns out they’re finding love 10% faster than women without children at home and turns out that 43% of the survey respondents said they started dating online after hearing success stories. And Does this mean you should post photos of your children in your online dating profile? As an online dating expert and dating coach, I’m not a fan of having your children appear as your primary profile photo, but believe it’s important to state within the text portion of your profile that you’re proud of your children (and list their ages). It turns out that an overwhelming 76% of single moms do indeed mention their children and/or post photos of them in their profiles.

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According to POF:

Like many online daters, single mothers are looking for partners they can relate to. Accordingly, they are 3.4 times more likely to date a single father than childless women are. In contrast, single moms are half as likely to date childless men as women with no children are.

But what do the kids have to say about their mom’s dates?

According to POF, 63% of moms said they’d consider their child’s disapproval of a potential partner as a major red flag or a deal-breaker.

Other key findings include:

  • 53.99% said that online dating allowed them to get to know someone without sacrificing time with their kid(s).
  • 54.98% said that with their busy schedule, there was no time to meet anyone anywhere else.
  • 51.81% will introduce their date to their children once they are in a monogamous relationship.
  • 1.2% are interested in meeting a clone of their ex, while 60.28% said they didn’t have a type.
  • 56.97% are dating online to find a partnership, as compared to less than 1% who are looking for financial support.
  • 62.29% will go online whenever they can find a spare second, followed by weekday nights when their kids are asleep.

Happy Mothers Day to all the single moms. Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.

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